Posted by Dinah on December 17, 2008, at 23:04:07
In reply to Is therapy just blowing smoke up our a*s?, posted by Looney Tunes on December 17, 2008, at 19:54:03
My therapist wants the best for me, but that doesn't mean he supports me in everything. I doubt he's ever gone against his beliefs in our therapy. In fact, he's pretty good at calling me on stuff, and getting me to see things in a different way.
I was wailing the other day and asking him how he can be so nice to me when I don't really deserve it, and he answered that it's because he cares about me even when I'm making the wrong choices.
I think over time I'm getting to understand "positive regard" better. I used to think it was acting nice or pretending to like someone. But now I think of it more like being open to finding something that they feel positive about in us. Keeping the detachment necessary to not get caught up in the negatives, and to find the positives. Even if it's just to have compassion for all the pain we cause ourselves.
I guess it would depend on the therapist and maybe even with what's going on in the therapist's life how genuine that might be. My therapist says that he thinks clients recognize those things, and that for long term therapy to work there probably does need to be genuine positive regard involved. I ask him if he needs to work really hard to feel that for me, and he says no of course not. I think he's forgotten all the hard work he used to put in. :)
Do you feel like your therapist's stance towards you is inauthentic? Does something seem unreal? Or is it a more general struggling with how someone could do this for money?
poster:Dinah
thread:869336
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081205/msgs/869359.html