Posted by Dinah on December 22, 2008, at 8:42:56
In reply to When your therapist makes a BIG mistake. --- Sigh, posted by Looney Tunes on December 21, 2008, at 0:39:56
My therapist has made similar mistakes, and it's caused ruptures in the relationship. I've learned to understand it's just who he is. He told me to call and remind him, and my calls are sometimes less than warm and gracious. More like "Dinah. Reminder. Call."
But my therapy had so many positives that learning to work through the negatives made a lot of sense. If you don't feel that this relationship has the positives, then maybe this isn't the right therapist for you.
I often think that if I ever did try to find a new therapist after my therapist, I'd probably need a transition therapist. Someone I could hate because they aren't MY therapist, then move on and the next therapist would at least be better than that awful one I just saw. Do you think there might be some of that going on?
Learning to work though ruptures in therapy can be enormously helpful. But therapists aren't washing machines. They aren't interchangeable. If this isn't the right therapist it isn't. I'm always struck by the similarity of the mechanics of long term therapy to marriage. You wouldn't marry someone who wasn't right just because you'd been dating for 5 1/2 months. That time is spent learning if this is the right person. If there are positive things here, or if you think this is the therapist who can help you work through any issues you may have, then it's worth working through the difficulties. But only you can know that. (And even then it likely isn't easy to know for oneself.)
poster:Dinah
thread:869971
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/870241.html