Posted by DAisym on December 27, 2008, at 11:58:32
In reply to Another thing, posted by antigua3 on December 27, 2008, at 1:17:26
I suspect that you wish what I wish - that figuring out how to express all the anger and outrage will somehow make it go away. That we will be able to release it by saying it.
I have found, at least for me, it doesn't work that way. Just like getting the memories - those aha! moments haven't taken the pain away.
I could give you my "therapy-isn't-an-after-school-special" speech, but you've heard it. :)
I think what expressing the anger does, is allow it. Slowly we say it outloud and come to terms with the truth of it. And by doing that, we figure out the when and where and who, instead of it leaking out on the wrong people. But it has to start with someone, so a therapist is a good person to pick. And I've found, that once I sort of get going, I can move it to the right person.
And there is something about it being OK to be mad that is such a relief. It has felt for a long time like another piece of the shame, that I'm angry over something so old.
It is super hard, no doubt about it.
poster:DAisym
thread:869792
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/871018.html