Posted by raisinb on February 16, 2009, at 10:33:14
In reply to asking for support, coping skills (very long), posted by yellowbird01 on February 15, 2009, at 12:35:34
Hi Yellowbird,
I'm so sorry for this loss. I agree with others that you don't sound as if you qualify for a full-blown personality disorder diagnosis. Psychology is not a hard science, and different practitioners can disagree on diagnoses. That's why my personal belief--and one my therapist seems to share--is that diagnoses in therapy are just not helpful.
Recently, I experienced two tough losses. I broke up with my boyfriend, and four days later, my therapist went on maternity leave. I still haven't found out when she'll be back.
A close friend of mine who knows me very well gave me some advice. It sounded counterintuitive to me, but it seems to be working. First, he said, don't be alone too much. Second, you tend to dwell on your emotions and panic that you won't be able to deal with them. Much of your depression comes from ruminating about whether you'll be depressed (not all, of course). So literally, "kill time until you feel better."
My friend's not the depressive type, so take this with a grain of salt. But I went out and bought seasons of Lost (a show I can get totally absorbed in), played computer games, lost myself in work, and spent time with friends. I told them exactly what was going on with me and that I'd appreciate spending time with them.
And so far, I seem to be okay. Maybe some of the same things will work for you. The cliche that "time heals" is sometimes true, if you allow it to die, as Scott so eloquently said.
Lastly, when your grief overwhelms you, try not to be afraid of it or fight it off. Emotions have "motion" in the word, and if you truly experience them, without dwelling after the fact, they will move through you and pass. And you will be the stronger for it.
I wish you peace.
poster:raisinb
thread:880275
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090214/msgs/880471.html