Posted by Daisym on August 29, 2009, at 17:48:32
In reply to My therapist comes back on Monday ---, posted by annierose on August 29, 2009, at 16:51:45
I wonder what would happen if we made a packed to not use the word "fine" on Mondays. You promise and I'll promise - and on top of that - to push yourself to be as honest as possible about how the two weeks went.
For me (only one week) it went up and then down. I did fine for 5 whole days - and then felt the dip beginning - tried to shove it back -- and the battle was on.
It isn't that we don't want to not miss our therapists. That seems OK. I think, for me at least, I don't want to need him. And when I ask myself what I need him for, the answer is really basic - I need him to feel steady in my life and to hold a lot of the feelings that can't live anywhere but inside his office. I run out of capacity to hold stuff - and then it begins to strangle me with the anxiety and sadness. Boy I hate that.
So if you could say to her - "I was fine part of the time and then there were times where there was this great sadness. I missed you. But it was more than that" - where would that take you? What questions do you need to ask to figure out that she missed you too and that she is still the same as when she left. At some point in every reconnecting session I'll ask, "did you forget?" And he will know exactly what I'm talking about and shake his head and say, "how could I forget? I'll never forget." We don't have to talk about it more than that if I'm not ready, but I have to ask. God - if he ever says, "forget what?" I'll be crushed!
Separation is hard, Reconnecting is equally hard. I hope Monday goes well.
poster:Daisym
thread:914722
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090730/msgs/914735.html