Posted by pegasus on September 24, 2009, at 9:01:40
In reply to Need help understanding these tears, posted by Daisym on September 24, 2009, at 1:07:36
Daisy, I wish I could answer your questions, or provide some kind of comfort. I don't know that anyone can really do that for you, which I think you know. I send you my intention of comfort and support, at any rate.
Two things you said jumped out at me:
1) You are not becoming the client that he dreads, because you had a session (or even lots of sessions) that brought up frustration for him. He is clearly devoted to you, and I am sure that he loves you. After reading your posts for years, I have this deep sense that he could never dread your sessions. My sense is that he probably is eager for them, because each one is a chance to help, which he generally does so well. When he can't figure out how to help, or he does something that cause you pain, there is probably frustration. And that is proof of his devotion and deep desire to help, not something that will push him away from you. He clearly is able to handle this frustration well. My guess is that it motivates him to be creative with you, which he is clearly talented at and which feeds him.
2. Maybe it is reality crushing a fantasy. But it is not *just* reality crushing a fantasy. What I mean is that it's totally OK and valid and understandable for this to throw you, and of course it feels big. I would guess that almost any noticeable change in therapy would feel awful and big. You want/need it to be stable with a capital S, so you can extend from that stability into the hard work that itself sometimes knocks you (one) so far off your own grounding.
I hope those thoughts help in some way. I wish you lots of soothing in our life right now.
peg
poster:pegasus
thread:918256
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/918283.html