Posted by psych chat on October 13, 2009, at 22:18:06 [reposted on October 20, 2009, at 1:28:00 | original URL]
I don't remember most of my childhood. My siblings are a mess..resulting from the abuse/neglect in how we grew up I suppose...Our parents are messed up...
So I always wanted to know how I became the most sane and productive person in my family. Now I'm starting to think that perhaps it's because I have a huge disassociation problem.
It seems I became a different person in my mid teens through early adulthood. Someone who didn't have many issues or emotional problems...until my 30s.
Not too long ago, I experienced a massive abreaction in response to a psychoanalyst who had some quality that triggered this (in addition to his aggressive techniques).
There is really no rational explaination for how I know this - but after the flooding of dreams, images, emotions in my mind after that T, I feel I am now the "self" I used to be during my mid-teen years. Yet, I still don't have access to the memories of how or who I was during childhood...just some emotions, pictures, etc. that somehow rapidly flooded my consciousness..I have not been the same person since.
Also since that T, I have begun to experience disassociation in therapy, since that abreaction. I don't recall ever doing this in my lifetime. In fact, I just found out what this feeling was, after having posted here. The floating feeling, the slowing of time, etc.
I have read about DID or MPD...am wondering if that's the reason for this situation and if that would explain how my memories were erased. I"m confused and not sure what to do. I have a T to discuss this with. I'm not sure he is that familiar with this issue, but I'll find out soon.
This is really scary.
poster:psych chat
thread:920965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090907/msgs/921642.html