Posted by ebo4ny on March 1, 2010, at 9:59:21
In reply to Re: have i lost my mind? » ebo4ny, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2010, at 1:13:18
I've been thinking about it all night and I've realized there's a couple of other things too. That "do anything to date a girl like you" comment was made in the context of a conversation where I was talking about dating and having trouble meeting the right guy who is also into me.
My therapist went on to tell me that men my age (30) are looking for women who are in their early- mid twenties and that I should consider divorced men over 40 (guess which category he falls into). He's also told me that I should be looking for a shy, quiet guy and guess what two words he frequently uses to describe himself? He talks a lot about the things we have in common, enough to give me an impression of a man who has a great deal in common with me, but why is that necessary for treatment?
He blushes a lot, and he has flashes of bashful body language when we get even close to the transference topic. The few times I've tried to talk about it with him he got defensive like in my last post where he kept repeating that he wasn't thinking about me outside of therapy when that had nothing to do with what I was trying to talk about.
I've heard of transference focused therapy, but that type of therapy usually encourages a transferrence by being a blank slate not by talking about all the things you have in common with your client and how she should consider dating someone like you.
But the thing is my treatment has been going really well aside from the mega transference problem. My life is looking ridiculously better than it did when I started six months ago. Could all this just be resistance?
I want to quit so bad because I feel like he's playing with me but I don't want to derail a treament that's helping me get my life on track. It feels like being drawn and quartered.
poster:ebo4ny
thread:938243
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100128/msgs/938267.html