Posted by Solstice on November 17, 2010, at 22:45:46
In reply to Re: an eternity, posted by annabelle smith on November 17, 2010, at 22:08:38
> So here goes:
> It is OK to idealize and to be attached. Here is the safe place of understanding and "with-ness" that you have longed for so many years, in so many lonely and painful moments. You thought no one could ever understand. You thought that a lot of this was even your fault. But, actually, no. Here is someone who does understand, who is present, and who is willing to stick it through with you while you heal and get better. It is understandable that you have a desperate, even obsessive, attachment to him. That is OK; stop trying to understand, and just let it be. This is your path to wholeness and new life.
>
> There. I said it. And I will try to live into this and accept it.Bravo Annabelle! Everything you said there is exactly right. Really! Just let it be what it is. Tell him about it.. so you can have the healing experience of his acceptance.. his understanding. Trust will come when you have tested and tested, and found the relationship to be trustworthy. It took me a long, long, long time. If it takes you a long time, don't feel bad about that. Your difficulty with trust doesn't mean anything bad about him.. or about you. You will trust if he is trustworthy.. and when you are ready. Until then, not trusting keeps you safe (that's why my therapist has always said about me :-)
Sol
poster:Solstice
thread:970565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/970654.html