Posted by lucielu2 on June 26, 2011, at 19:01:36
In reply to Re: Been a while..., posted by Willful on June 26, 2011, at 10:36:29
I hadn't heard of Tree of Life but will be sure to keep my eye out for it, given your review.That vacation thing.... I think it's great that you can see your progress in the context of being able to handle separation better. As one who always struggled with the inevitability of August, I know what a big deal it is to be able to say, well, I'll miss T but I'll be OK. Learning to tolerate separation is huge, and it does take resilience and strength. Good for you.
> Thanks lucielu. .
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> Sometimes I know my T gets very frustrated with me, because as soon as I take a real step, I do something to take it back. But we've gotten to the point where we can at least agree that it's a pattern and talk about it in a good way. This summer, he's going away in two separate blocks of time; now for two weeks and for three and a half weeks in August. We've both agreed that this was a year of a lot of progress, even though there's a long way to go. And I for the first time I dont feel that I really will be overwhelmingly sad (even though that's not really so true anymore), even in August when he's gone for longer. Five and a half weeks is definitely harder and I'm happy that this summer is easier.
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> For me, there are many differences, but one of the biggest is that when I get so discouraged and even despairing, I/m more resilient, and can see a bit of hope to believe in,--- even if only that what I'm feeling isn't permanent,, that I'll keep on and be stronger the next day--- which I never felt before. But that's maybe the one I"m most in touch with today, because I got so discouraged last night. Even so I went to the movies and had a really fascinating experience. I saw the "Tree of Life.? Have you seen? I really recommend it-- here at least it's one of those films that everyone has a different opinion about-- and some people love and some people hate. It's one of the most remarkable films. In the past I would have be unable to, and have spent the evening in the most terrible hopelessness-- and also have missed a great experience.
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> I love the spiral metaphor. It really captures how you go over and over what seems like the same thing-- but always from a different place-- and eventually even though maybe your issues are still there, they've been transmuted greatly by all the work you've done on them.
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> Willful
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poster:lucielu2
thread:989138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/989514.html