Posted by Dinah on May 1, 2014, at 17:29:22
In reply to Post therapy observations, posted by Tabitha on April 30, 2014, at 15:48:39
Obviously I agree to some point. And even though I recognize that I was the one pushing for forever therapy, not my therapist, one of my main feelings has been one that I totally blew enough money for an extra house.
My husband said no, that I was way better with therapy than without. And that whatever happens now, he helped me for years. When he seemed to have abandoned me entirely, it was hard for me to believe that. A really bad ending seems to negate everything that goes before.
But I don't think my therapist was much like yours. I don't recall him being overly sympathetic to complaining. He tended to be a fixer, and had to work hard at just listening. Even so, he concentrated his efforts on trying to help me view things from a different angle. I'm stubborn, so he had to do it slowly. Yet over time, I found myself saying what he had said to me as if it were my own idea. He'd tell me stories that could be used to throw light on my current situation (and I'd reject them). He'd ask questions that would lead me to think of something from another point of view (and I'd say they were totally irrelevant). He'd make me laugh at myself without ever laughing at me. I sound like an awful client don't I? I don't think I've been so contrary and disobliging in recent years. But it was hard work for many many years.
Also, like many obsessive people, I would have a tendency to get stuck in my head and twist my thoughts into a hopeless tangle. A therapist helped me keep them relatively untwisted so that I didn't end up with a huge mess I had to fix.
I think maybe I can now do that better for myself than I used to. Yet when I'm under stress, I think I may still need that in my life.
What would your therapist do?
poster:Dinah
thread:1064984
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1065061.html