Posted by Mair on May 25, 2002, at 22:39:58
In reply to suicidal ideation, posted by dinah 2 on May 25, 2002, at 21:56:57
Dinah
SuicIdal Ideation for me usually means just getting fixated on an idea or an image. It's very confusing to me, because on the one hand it all seems so clearly the right thing to do, but there's always this other voice reminding me that I don't always feel this way, and that really throws me off - that something can be so clear and so convoluted all at the same time. (I'm sure this is making no sense) I do know that I totally lose perspective because of the fixating part of it - I filter out the positive and don't seem to have the same ability to be comfortable (at ease?) with life's layers - everything (except the suicidal thoughts) just seems too complex and overwelming.
I read back over this and it looks like it is something I might have written in college after a few too many joints and definitely no sleep. All I've been doing tonight is chaperoning a party of about 30 13 and 14 year olds - mercifully at someone else's house. My only overindulgence being too much coca cola.
I don't mean to be so obtuse - I guess I just want you to remind you that suicidal thinking does have an obsessive myopic quality to it, and if you can at least accept that it is a limited way of thinking, maybe it won't seem so real, or at least so permanent.
Mair (overly obtuse probably because my brain has been fried from watching too many teenagers at play)
poster:Mair
thread:24620
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24626.html