Posted by tabitha on June 23, 2002, at 7:11:34
Stupid, stupid, stupid. You know how SSRIs and alcohol don't mix? I know this. I ignored this. My tummy hurts. Sleep cycle ruined. Sobriety ruined. Self respect eroded. No one to blame but self.
My not very close friend is dating my former boyfriend (the one I haven't quite gotten over), she calls for the first time in like a year to tell me how hard it is for her that she can't tell me about how excited she is about their upcoming vacation, going across the country so he can meet her parents.
I told her when they started dating I did not want to lose her friendship, but I did not want to hear the details about them. This is not unreasonable, is it? Naturally I kept hoping theyd break up, and she kept managing to let it slip how well things were going. I was not upset when the friendship lapsed, because frankly it was TOO DARN PAINFUL to me. Now this. I'm supposed to do for her--what? Validate her pain? I feel totally dumped on. We were never that close to even have this kind of talk!
Lots of noise in the background, turns out she's calling from her Landmark Forum class, this is her homework assignment. Oh, how <insert bad word here> is that? She's ignoring my stated limits to do her homework assignment? The news of their vacation knocks me flat, I'm already having a rough patch. The twistedness of the both of them. I was active alcoholic when we dated, I thought my drinking was one of the problems, yet here he is dating ANOTHER active alcoholic (her), and he got into this stupid Landmark Forum cult, and got her into it, and she already tried to recruit me (they get pressured to recruit others). I can't respect the either of them anymore. But it still knocks me flat to get this call.
No sense! And no dignity, retreating into wine coolers. Oh, let this weekend be over. My therapist thank god was able to call, had to patiently remind me why drinking is not a good way to deal with sudden emotional pain. I used to know this so well. Oh, my stomach. Again. Oh.
Please tell me that my "friend" and my ex are big dumb idiots and that alcohol and tabitha do not mix.
poster:tabitha
thread:25610
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020616/msgs/25610.html