Posted by zenhussy on November 19, 2003, at 0:26:25
In reply to Re: I can guarantee he does not hate you, posted by sienna on November 19, 2003, at 0:14:30
> zen you are so smart.
Wow. Now that is just wild to read when I'm as tired and worn out as I am. I do not feel smart. But again---thank you. *smile*
> i think you are right. how does a relationship last? is it only a good relationship if it doesnt take work? ours takes work. but i dont mind. hes perfect. not really but i cant imagine anyone esle.
If it doesn't take work then it will die. If we don't eat and nourish our bodies then we suffer and will eventually die. If we have a house plant we don't water or fertilize then it will suffer and die. So naturally if we do not tend to a relationship then it will suffer....both people in the relationship will suffer and the relationship can eventually die. It has happened to me. It is very sad. But I have learned that any relationship in my life that is worth saving and tending to takes work....and sometimes that work isn't fun nor is it gratifying.
That is until later on when you can look back and see what it is that you and your partner have come through together. To me that is a relationship.
sienna, he is *not* perfect. He might be incredibly handsome and have nice manners and present himself well but he is not perfect. Nobody is perfect. So any perceived flaws of the relationship you may be trying to take credit for can be put squarely on both of your shoulders. You are both in this relationship so both of you need to figure out how to move forward while supporting one another without losing yourself into one another. Make sense?
> i wish we could learn to read minds.
>
> siennaYou and me both girl! Mind reading. Now there's a trick I could use. Until then the best bet is to LEARN LEARN LEARN and PRACTICE communication skills. When you learn what exactly it is that you want and how to ask others for that then you are less likely to be let down. You will be able to communicate your needs to another and have that other communicate his needs to you. That to me sounds like a healthy way to start things. Two way talking. Two way LISTENING.
And remember to keep taking deep breaths and not let the nighttime turn a bummer situation into a nightmare situation. Cry and release emotions but don't beat yourself up.
That part of the night is over. It ended the second you started posting to me! No more sienna bashing!!
xoxo
zh
poster:zenhussy
thread:281074
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031113/msgs/281121.html