Posted by antigua on February 11, 2004, at 0:12:48
In reply to Re: Open Thoughts Forum » Karen_kay, posted by DaisyM on February 10, 2004, at 23:25:24
I'm worried about you too. A lot!! You are a wonderful young woman with such a bright future ahead of you. Trust your instincts. My T says your mind will only let you remember when you are ready to handle what it is going to tell you.
Listen, if all we had to do was push ourselves harder to remember, I would have been done with this 10 years ago! Do you know how hard I've worked to remember? It sent me over the edge this past summer because I was so frustrated that I was stuck. I felt completely hopeless. As it is, I only have one complete full memory and sensory flashes and bits and pieces of other memories, but they all add up. I didn't even know that I disassociated until about a month ago! I know this makes me sound like some flaky patient, but I have worked so hard and I still am struggling valiantly. I refuse to give up because this has affected every aspect of my life and I want MY life.
How would you feel about telling your mother? Please make sure you are ready for whatever response you may get from her. Are you ready to deal with her on top of figuring out what happened? Are you ready to tell her before you know everything? Would that help you? Please consider these questions before you make a decision, because your number one priority is to keep yourself safe. This is a lot to put on you at one time.
I've always said that my greatest weakness is my strength. I built up such an elaborate denial system as a child that it is taking more than dynamite to break through to my inner self. I deny the horror, because I'm afraid of the terror and the anger.
Take care, Karen, and do what's best for you. I'm thinking of you too, Daisy. You are working really hard, and you're making such great progress, no matter how much it hurts right now. You're going to make it!
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:310600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040209/msgs/311915.html