Posted by Indie on July 16, 2004, at 21:43:13
In reply to Ghost, posted by SandyWeb on July 16, 2004, at 19:26:14
Thank you both for sharing your feelings...it has just helped me tremendously. I was just sitting here...at home, alone on a Friday night, hearing that old familiar voice in the back of my mind telling me that it would just be better to end it all. Despite my decision that, since my one attempt at suicide failed, I am supposed to live, I still keep having those thoughts. I can't seem to get them out of my head. Then I jumped on here to see what was going on and read your stories. It is strange logic, but I know from your stories that you are both of great value to this world. Knowing that and hearing your pain, reflecting exactly what I was just feeling, I think that *maybe*, just maybe, I still have something to offer this crazy world. I know it is odd logic, but it works--at least to get me through tonight anyway. Thanks for that.
The sick part of it is that I am alone by choice. My friend that I live with breezed into the apartment and asked what I want to do tonight, I told her that I need to study. So we ordered a pizza and ate, then she went to her boyfriends house so that I can study in peace. Then another friend called to see if I want to go see one of my favorite bands and I told him the same studying story. I just don't want to be around people right now. But when they go I feel so lonely that it makes me want to die. Does anybody else do this? It just dosen't make any sense.
Oh well, I guess I should at least try to get some studying done. Thanks for listening.
Hugs
Indie
poster:Indie
thread:366681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040706/msgs/367024.html