Posted by Broken on February 15, 2005, at 7:32:51
In reply to Re: difficult post--homophobics beware » Susan47, posted by smokeymadison on February 15, 2005, at 1:24:32
Smokey,
I'm not great at commenting on relationships, as made obvious by an earlier post to Susan. But in that post, I mentioned that 10 years ago I was in a horrible marriage. I didn't say why it was horrible.
I was married for 9 years, to a very sweet lady. I was very young when we married, pre 20, hell, pre 19. Anyway, she was very good to me, she never did anything wrong, but it was absolute hell the last several years. I refused to cheat on her, and at the same time I didn't want to live with her. Oh, I loved her, and I still do. But it was more like, well, I can't explain it.Finally, I think the pressure of the situation drove me into a deep depression, and I had the luxury of checking into a local hospital, after I cut my wrists. When I was released, I was focused on making me a better person, and I couldn't do that being married to her. We spent day after day crying, most of the time in each others arms, but I struggled through, and she did too, and we were divorced. I met my current wife, and realized what marriage was supposed to be like. It was totally different that what I had before. Too bad it took a suicide attempt to make me realize that huh?
Yeah, you can make it work, but at what cost to you and your health? You can "settle" for less of a car than you want, you can even settle for less of a home than you want. You can't "settle" for less of a relationship than you want. Eventually it will get to you. Don't make yourself suffer through that. Regardless if that connection is with another man or woman, do not intentionally place yourself in a life long commitment that you think you can't honor before it even starts.I am no expert on realtionships, what worked for me doesn't work for everyone, and I know that. I'm just relaying a personal experience here.
P.S. My ex and I still talk, she is happily married now too, and we're both glad we did what we had to, to be happy.
poster:Broken
thread:457981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050215/msgs/458040.html