Posted by Racer on March 5, 2008, at 22:06:27
In reply to This feeling of a PB Grudge Warn **Suicide Trigger, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on March 4, 2008, at 20:12:00
> I've been looking for words to express myself as of late, especially about how I feel about people treating each other. What I feel is not very good.This is just a general feeling. I really feel it on the PB med board, and on Social I find a few people who are just so giving and caring. That is what I have always envisioned the ultimate in being a human is.
I think sometimes people perceive certain behavior as being unkind, when it's actually meant as kindness. This is a story that I think involves the same sorts of principles, even though it's an animal story.
Years back, one of my horses colicked at night. Colic is often fatal in horses, and one of the most dangerous things is for them to lie down, because their intestines can twist, which is what kills them. I was beside myself, and hysterical -- unmedicated, depressed, etc -- and watching as one person after another tried to help keep her on her feet, and walking. It was horrible. And I called someone to bring me a whip.
Half the people there reacted as though I was guilty of kicking a puppy -- my horse is sick, and I'm calling for a whip? Yes -- and as soon as I spanked her, and she started walking properly, she passed wind -- a sign that something was starting to happen properly in her gut, a sign that she might actually live through the night. Those who were trying to baby her along, only asking her to move a tiny bit -- that might have looked like the kinder treatment, but it's also the sort of treatment that could have resulted in her death.
The very best favor anyone ever did me felt at the time like a huge rejection, a huge slap in my face -- and I've thanked him nearly every time I've spoken to him in the seventeen years since then. It felt bad, but it was the right thing to do, and even at the time, I knew it. Sometimes when you love someone, you show it by being honest, as gently as you can. And sometimes when you care about someone, you show it by setting limits.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it may be that part of what you're reacting to on meds may be a different way of showing the same sort of caring you see here. Just, you know, shown in a different way.
When she was healthy, I played with that horse like a puppy -- and she always had a big grin and a whuffle for me when she saw me. She loved me -- despite spanking her when she had a tummy ache.
poster:Racer
thread:816253
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20080303/msgs/816474.html