Posted by Kath on June 3, 2009, at 22:12:50
AND a job!! (part time, which works well for him).
Before I left for my week at my daughter's, a friend who used to live at the rooming house my son lived at, phoned from where he'd moved to out of town. Said he was moving back into town & they decided to get a place together.
THE SAME DAY - we looked on Craig's List under our town. Son saw a small 2-bedroom house for rent. He & I went to check it out. It's perfect. He filled out an application & gave a deposit cheque.
Last Tuesday, while I was at my daughter's I went online to cheque his bank account (I still help him with his finances). I had made a mistake & the deposit cheque bounced!!! GAWDDDDD.
So last week was an ongoing stressful situation with the landlady (understandably) hedging. She was very positive until he called her about the cheque. (She hadn't realized yet that it was NSF).
I won't go into all the details. There was a LOT of phoning back & forth. Son had to go to the bank, had trouble FAXing the bank letter - was VERY stressed & I was wondering if he was going to snap.....VERY scarey & stressful. Landlady's husband was hedging bigtime; I phoned landlady to explain that it was my fault, etc etc.
Saturday morning, son phoned to say that it looked very bad & he was pretty sure he wouldn't get the place. After I got off the phone I sort of had a meltdown.....realized that "It's My Fault" triggered some huge childhood issues.
Right in the middle of the meltdown, son phoned to say she had called, come over, picked up first & last month's cheques & that they'd meet Monday & he'd sign lease & she'd give keys!!!!
I just dissolved into sobbing tears. I was crying so badly that my nose was dripping & I didn't even care. Right while I was on the phone with him!!! I told him that I had been very upset as I felt that I'd spoiled his chance of getting this really great house - & that I was sort of in pretty bad shape, as the past couple of years had really taken a toll on me. I asked him if he could tell me again, slowly, so I could absorb the good news! He did & he said not to be hard on myself - that everyone makes mistakes AND (get this) that it was partly his mistake anyway - that when he had asked me if there was enough money in - he should have checked it himself to make sure!!!
ANYway - he moved this Tuesday & I am still not feeling 'over it'. I saw therapist today & worked through some of the stuff the was triggered by last week's events. Am feeling way better than I was before appointment.
So - last Sunday, son got a call from his friend asking if he wanted a job & could he start at 5 pm!!! Today was his 2nd shift & he likes it & says it's not too hard & 2 of his friends work there, so that feels nice. Also the owner is very nice & relaxed about shifts, etc.
It's a very nice restaurant. He'll be washing dishes & doing food 'prep'.....not chopping chickens like at the last place (boxes of them!!).
SO - ain't that great newz???
There's still a part of me that's waiting for something to go wrong. I hate that! Especially because I believe to some extent in the law of attraction! So I don't want to be attracting bad stuff!! sigh.
This has been the 'affirmation' that I say (usually daily) to help calm myself & stop worrying. I say it even though it hasn't all been true, but the amazing thing is that so MANY of the things are coming true! Maybe the law of attraction does work...
"I'm glad that my son is being taken care of; his needs provided for; that he's happy, healthy, capable, competent, overcoming his substance abuse, becoming independent in all areas; that he's successfully handing his money. I'm glad that he has a good place to live, with a good roommate...that he has a job he likes, that he has a nice girlfriend & that he's going forward in his life in a positive, purposeful way. All is well."
So many of the things have come true! I guess the things that still are waiting to happen are him successfully handling his money & having a girlfriend! He's doing drugs way less often...even during the ex-girlfriend-back-in-town thing.
I am very thankful. I'd like to be able to let go of anxiety about something going wrong.
Thank you all for your support during the rough times.
I haven't been feeling well enough yet to be joyous about having just hubby & I in our home!! It'll come. Right now, my mind keeps coming up with various "what if..." situation to try to entice me into worrying about! JeeZ.
:-) Kath
poster:Kath
thread:899305
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20090513/msgs/899305.html