Posted by alexandra_k on February 9, 2020, at 9:53:43
In reply to I underestimate my mothers stupidity, posted by Lamdage22 on February 6, 2020, at 4:00:06
It can be important to protect yourself when people don't seem responsive to reason / when people seem determined to feel a certain way / seem determined to try and evoke certain feeling in us...
My Mother can be totally dismissive of my suggestions, sometimes. Little things... Like how an i-pad sort of device would be perfect for her internet needs / computer usage. She just totally ignores / dismisses what I say. Then she listens to a perfect stranger who she just met on the bus and ends up getting one. Then she can't stop praising how perfect it is for her. She never will admit that I suggested it (over and over) though. My sister says that Mother does that to her, too. You just have to let it roll off your back. Mother would get some sort of grotesque satisfaction from thinking that it bugged us / bothered us. Just her... Exerting her power to do her thing, I guess.
I have gotten a lot better at shrugging her off. Whatever. You do you Mother. If I am well rested and so on then I can spot her trying to wind me up, too. Asking me what I think about x or y or z when she suspects I will have (or can be induced to form) an opinion that she can then set about ignoring.
It makes interpersonal interactions fun and exciting for her.
If I can yawn a little and be like 'whatever' then she drops it and moves on. So...
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I wonder what your Mother gets from what she is doing to you? Maybe it helps her feel like you care? Maybe she likes to evoke a strong emotional response from you?
I don't know.
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I have had a year of trying to reason with people who are not responsive to reason / are not that way inclined. I mean, really, black is white and up is down and 'nonononono' like a 2 year old and 'what do you meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean by xxx' and just the worst toddler tantrums I have ever experienced in my whole life...
This is fun for them. They enjoy behaving like that. They just will go on behaving like that.
If I don't want to do that then there isn't anything to be done but to stay the hell away.
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I'm sorry you don't have more mutually enjoyable interactions with her.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1108353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20190715/msgs/1108397.html