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Re: new zealand: it's not working

Posted by alexandra_k on August 6, 2020, at 10:48:06

In reply to Re: new zealand: it's not working, posted by alexandra_k on August 6, 2020, at 2:40:04

i was looking at a few things online... one of them got me thinking too good to be true. i don't mean in a false advertising mis-representation kind of a way. i mean... in a... i would spend my time pinching myself to wake up. fretting about things being too good to be true, somehow... feeling like i was un-deserving. bawling my eyes out that in parts of the world people are dying of malnutrition and living in horrible slums while things around me were...

i remember for a bit in aussie i felt a bit like that. things felt plastic-y in Canberra. shiny. artificial, somehow...

like the Trueman show. something weird like that...

and i didn't want to stay with it and be part of it because of that... well... if i could have studied medicine there, then i would have. but it would have been because i wanted to feel like i was doing something worthwhile, somehow. because what i was doing (writing things around in circles) didn't seem worthwhile to anybody, actually. so what was the point actually? there were things i wanted to know, to sort out. but then i learn them and sort things out and eventually i felt like philosophically things were sorted to my satisfaction, really. i had an informed opinion enough for me to feel like i... hit the limits on the methodology. that was the issue, really.

there needs to be some friction. yeah. to keep the momentum. i don't know.

 

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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20200325/msgs/1111558.html