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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 29. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 20:57:05
For interviews. (Although I'm not sure I made it clear that it was an interview for the first person. Oh well, she can interview me too.) Monday morning, Tuesday afternoon. Both have level II certification.
I think I'm prepared. I printed out information on the way I'm wanting to use EMDR, wrote out the brief life history including things I want to work on with EMDR requested by the second therapist. I don't need to read it, but it will give me notes to work from. And I'm going to write down some phrases and short reminders to jog my sometimes faulty memory, which sometimes gets faultier when I'm nervous.
But I'm prepared to be flexible and follow their leads. I just have all that ready so I don't mess up the way I do sometimes.
I'll see which, if either, seems comfortable with working with me given my dissociative tendencies. Honestly, both seemed somewhat diffident on the phone. And I suppose it would help if I felt comfortable with them as well, or at least didn't dislike them. The one who wasn't interested in working with me had the nicest voice. :(
I probably should dress a bit more conventionally than I usually do.
I'm psyched. I'm ready. And if it doesn't work out, I won't be terribly distressed.
Any other advice?
Posted by Elle2021 on January 10, 2004, at 20:59:40
In reply to Two EMDR appointments, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 20:57:05
EMDR for a phobia?
Elle
Posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 21:07:26
In reply to Re: Two EMDR appointments » Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on January 10, 2004, at 20:59:40
No, I'm trying to use it to reconnect dissociated emotions from sterile memories so that I can process them at lessen their hold on me. At least that's the idea. :)
Posted by Speaker on January 10, 2004, at 21:36:26
In reply to Re: Two EMDR appointments » Elle2021, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 21:07:26
Dinah,
I hope one of the EMDR T's works for you. I did EMDR for some time for my PTSD. It brought about a lot of completion of bits of memories I had. It moved very fast for me and did help in some aspects. As you know everyone is so different and I trust it will work well for you. Keep me posted on the T. interviews and know I am thinking of you.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 11, 2004, at 11:18:28
In reply to Re: Two EMDR appointments- Dinah, posted by Speaker on January 10, 2004, at 21:36:26
Dinah,
You sound very prepared. Good luck!
g
Posted by antigua on January 11, 2004, at 13:03:37
In reply to Two EMDR appointments, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 20:57:05
Good luck tomorrow. If my experience counts for much, your interviewees will pretty much just try to get to know you and assess your situation. I didn't begin EMDR until my second session, and my EMDR therapist said she often waits longer than that to begin w/clients she doesn't know. Her/his goal s/be to make you feel comfortable and to familiarize you w/the process.
Also, think of a safe place you'd like to use to retreat to if anything difficult comes up. My EMDR T recommends that often and I often visualize this place at the end of my EMDR sessions or when I feel overwhelmed.
I'll be thinking about you,
antigua
Posted by Medusa on January 11, 2004, at 14:00:56
In reply to Two EMDR appointments, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 20:57:05
good for you, Dinah, for i'viewing these people and not just jumping in with them.
remember, they're just trying to do their jobs and get paid for it ... so please please please ASK for what you want and SAY if you feel uncomfortable and DON'T understand too quickly ...even if you think you understood, try saying "I haven't yet fully understood xyz ..." - repeating variants of this is a great technique in lots of situations.
sending you clarity vibes ...
Posted by Raindancer on January 11, 2004, at 18:39:15
In reply to Two EMDR appointments, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 20:57:05
Good luck Dinah. Hope it goes well. Will be thinking of you.
Posted by Poet on January 12, 2004, at 9:18:03
In reply to Two EMDR appointments, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2004, at 20:57:05
I'll send positive energy in your direction today and tomorrow. I'm proud of you- you knew what you needed and weren't afraid to stop seeking it.
Poet
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:23:11
In reply to Re: Two EMDR appointments » Dinah, posted by Poet on January 12, 2004, at 9:18:03
You were proud of me prematurely, Poet. I cancelled the one for tomorrow, and the therapist and I mutually agreed for me to contact her a few months from now.
The other one isn't looking good, in terms of her being willing to work with me, and the whole experience was so....I don't even know. Humiliating? Made me feel excessively vulnerable? Anyway, I'm not up for it again anytime soon. If this one doesn't work out I'll need some time to recuperate.
And she was nice and all. I had just forgotten what a new therapist was like. Waaaay different from a new pdoc. I feel wrung out.
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:33:20
In reply to Re: Nope, only one, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:23:11
Deeep breaths. Klonopin.
Never ever interview again....
Posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2004, at 10:38:18
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well....., posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:33:20
Good plans, especially the deep breaths. Sounds like the interview did not go as you had hoped. You're right, new therapists are tough to get used to, especially if you have/had a strong relationship with another. But you can do it! Deep breaths!
g
Posted by Elle2021 on January 12, 2004, at 10:53:39
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well....., posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:33:20
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 11:06:39
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well....., posted by gardenergirl on January 12, 2004, at 10:38:18
I can't really put my finger on it. I know that I wanted to be a bit guarded in what I told her in an initial interview, and that under stress I wasn't as discreet as I wished to be. So now I feel like a stranger has seen my dirty undies or something. I spent years building up trust with my therapist. I didn't blurt anything out with him like I did today.
Plus, as can be expected, the conversation took some unexpected turns. She almost admitted that she was checking out my reserves of strength and abilities to cope. And I passed with flying colors till halfway home. Then a delayed reaction. Things like talking about my friend's death. Or probing to see how painful certain memories are for me.
I did my breathing and went to my safe place, and tried my first ever sublingual klonopin, and i'm feeling better except for some chest pain and residual hyperventilation symptoms. OK, I'm not feeling all better, but I don't feel like passing out. Does that mean I am strong enough to cope? (sad smile) My overall positive cognition I wish to instill is that I'm strong enough to truly feel. But I keep proving it wrong.
But it wasn't her fault. She was perfectly nice, answered all my questions, and wasn't a teeny bit like biofeedback guy. I don't even think she disliked me.
Posted by Poet on January 12, 2004, at 11:46:20
In reply to Re: Nope, only one, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:23:11
Posted by Karen_kay on January 12, 2004, at 13:43:09
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well..... Elle » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 11:06:39
Dinah,
You did a great job hun. And I'm proud of you for being able to cope with your anxiety. I'm sorry it is rough right now. Maybe others who have experience with this type of therapy will be able to better help you. But, keep using your coping skills. And keep petting your doggies! And chocolate helps too!(((Dinah)))
Posted by Speaker on January 12, 2004, at 14:59:51
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well....., posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 10:33:20
Dinah,
I think you did great just going to a new T for the EMDR. You have been so encouraging with me and my new T so I know you understand how hard it is...so be kind to you. I think the fact that you weren't able to be so guarded is probably a sign of growth...don't you hate that - I DO! If this T isn't what you want you don't have to do it, and if she says she can't work with you just think your probably better off. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 17:29:16
In reply to Re: Oooohhhhh.... I don't feel so well..... » Dinah, posted by Speaker on January 12, 2004, at 14:59:51
He thinks she's inclined to take me on. I'll find out more when I see him tomorrow. Then I'll call her.
Posted by Speaker on January 13, 2004, at 9:35:16
In reply to Re: My therapist talked to her, posted by Dinah on January 12, 2004, at 17:29:16
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 17:12:01
In reply to Keep Us Posted :)... (nm) » Dinah, posted by Speaker on January 13, 2004, at 9:35:16
But it's more like interview part II. She won't commit to anything. She was relieved to know she wouldn't need to be available for support though, and that my therapist would be there for that.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2004, at 18:46:44
In reply to Re: Monday appt, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 17:12:01
> But it's more like interview part II. She won't commit to anything. She was relieved to know she wouldn't need to be available for support though, and that my therapist would be there for that.
Dinah,
You're doing great just by being willing to keep trying in therapy. You are able to cope--your posts prove it. I'm sorry it feels so hard. Perhaps it feels so uncomfortable because deep down you really want to be able to open up, and somehow, for a moment, you were able to???I'm glad that you have your T to support you through this. Sending good thoughts your way on Monday. Take care!
g
Posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 20:00:59
In reply to Re: Monday appt, posted by gardenergirl on January 13, 2004, at 18:46:44
Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2004, at 15:04:58
In reply to Re: Monday appt, posted by Dinah on January 13, 2004, at 17:12:01
i will never never never nevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernenvernevernevernevnernevernevernevernevernevernenvernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernevernever do this again. I would rather kill myself than open myself up to a new mental health professional ever ever ever again.
I'm going to go ahead with another appointment because i've already put in $200, 2 hours, and a huge amount of pain, and I at least want to see what EMDR is like. And I'll never have another chance to do EMDR because i will never never never do this again.
Period.
Posted by DaisyM on January 19, 2004, at 15:39:40
In reply to Re: Monday appt - EMDR, posted by Dinah on January 19, 2004, at 15:04:58
ummm...didn't go so well, huh? Or was it just really hard?
I'm sorry either way. Take care of yourself. You are being really brave. I'm proud of you. Remember, just take one appointment at a time.
Posted by Dinah on January 19, 2004, at 16:09:22
In reply to Re: Monday appt - EMDR » Dinah, posted by DaisyM on January 19, 2004, at 15:39:40
Didn't go well. My chest still hurts from anxiety. Mental health professionals just don't like me. It was my passion for precision this time.
And she really doesn't understand what I'm telling her. Probably I don't explain myself well. I felt like my entire view of myself was being invalidated. I wanted to yell, but I just zoned out instead. However, the 28 item dissociative experiences scale tells me I definitely don't have a dissociative disorder, so I suppose I can rest assured that it's just a healthy hobby.
But I don't suppose that will matter much for the actual EMDR experience. I want to try it at least one single time.
Because this is it. If my therapist abandons me (even if he just has the nerve to die) I'm on my own from here on out.
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