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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 1:25:46
Two weeks ago, I discussed my transference issues with my therapist for the first time. He was great about it and I've noticed my somewhat obsessive thoughts of him have decreased a ton. In last week's session, though, I felt like I was struggling and making my therapist work even harder than me. I wasn't sure what I wanted to talk about and I felt like I was all over the place. I did mention my panic attacks, which I believe may have stemmed from the uncertainty of where my therapy is going. We didn't get very far, though, since I was having a hard time remembering what I was thinking before, during, and after the anxiety set it.
Anyway, now I'm feeling like I don't know what to talk about at my next session. Should I just keep yapping about my day-to-day stuff until something else comes up? This seems like a waste, but I don't know why all of a sudden I feel even less in touch with my thoughts and feelings than I was before...sigh.
Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
All Done
Posted by lookdownfish on January 14, 2004, at 4:34:53
In reply to I don't know what to talk about, posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 1:25:46
I think it's best not to plan too carefully what you talk about - that's my personal experience. In my first few months of therapy, I would plan what I wanted to say, rehearse it in my mind obsessively, sometimes even write a list. But more recently, whilst I obviously have things in mind that I want to discuss, I am more likely to just let it flow. Bringing up every day topics that are on your mind, which might be considered superficial, can actually lead in to the deeper issues, so I wouldn't say it is a waste of time. Do you ever discuss dreams? Sometimes they can help reveal what's going on beneath the surface.
Posted by Poet on January 14, 2004, at 9:09:38
In reply to I don't know what to talk about, posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 1:25:46
Hi Alldone,
I'm not what my therapist calls a blurter: I don't sit down and start pouring my heart out. Even though I've seen her for over a year, it makes me more comfortable to start with day to day stuff. For me alot of my current issues are attached to the past so it leads to what I really need to talk about in a less painful way.
Poet
Posted by Catmom on January 14, 2004, at 10:49:18
In reply to I don't know what to talk about, posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 1:25:46
Hello All Done,
You've had some great responses from lookdownfish and Poet. I agree with what they say. I don't plan what I will discuss in therapy and follow the rules of "free association," which means that I blurt out whatever comes to mind. Even if it seems insignificant or superficial. Since my therapist knows me fairly well at this point, she often starts to "connect the dots" for me and that typically leads me into a fruitful discussion.
Even if I begin with the tedium of finding a parking space, or complaining about the noisy neighbors, it all seems connected to larger, older, deeper issues that emerge as I speak.
I've grown to the point where my inner censor does not kick in; sometimes I will begin by making a comment on what she's wearing, or a comment on something I've been reading. Then there will be a word--sometimes a very simple one--that will start to elicit and evoke memories.
I think that I've even said that "I don't know what to say" and she won't make an intervention, but I typically have a need to fill up the silences, so whatever I then proceed to say will be the "product" of what's somehow on my mind, or buried within my mind.
I have a theory that nothing needs to be a waste; that even if it seems unproductive that when we sit in therapy, connections are made.
Even the fact of NOT remembering details of your panic attack(s) can be significant.
I wish you the very best of luck and hope that you can feel free to simply be there, be yourself, and say whatever's on your mind!
Posted by gardenergirl on January 14, 2004, at 19:55:45
In reply to Re: I don't know what to talk about » All Done, posted by Catmom on January 14, 2004, at 10:49:18
Hi,
I agree with the others that just going with whatever comes out is often helpful. One other thought. You could talk to your T about not knowing what to say. For me, this lead to a helpful discussion about free association and censoring myself. I hadn't been aware that I was censoring and feeling self-conscious. Once my T reassured me that anything at all was fair game, even if it seemed unrelated or mundane, then I felt more relaxed in sessions.
Posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 23:03:41
In reply to Re: I don't know what to talk about, posted by gardenergirl on January 14, 2004, at 19:55:45
Thanks, everyone, for your responses! It seems the consensus is to not plan and just go with whatever I think about at the time. I have done this a bit in the past and I can see how it leads to other things, but I also feel like I've spent too much time telling him I don't know what to talk about. We even talked about the fact that I want him to tell me what we should talk about.
I do have one dream I'll discuss with him, lookdownfish, and then I think I'll move on to my rather recent lack of feelings. We'll see where it goes from there...
Thanks for letting me know it's okay to not have a "plan". (Although I suppose I did just make a little one, didn't I? :) )
Posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 23:05:04
In reply to Re: I don't know what to talk about everyone, posted by All Done on January 14, 2004, at 23:03:41
This is the end of the thread.
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