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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by terrics on April 28, 2004, at 15:56:45
Hi All, I have been unable to give up my old boundry -crossing T. If I cannot afford her she will not charge me. I told her that if our sessions mess up DBT we will have to stop. I told her I'd call her once in awhile. She said no, we'll go out to lunch. I have the same delemma as crushed because I am in love with her and have been for a long time. She knows. She says she loves me too, but also that she is a confirmed hetero.
I had a second session with the DBT therapist and know she will be better for me and safer.
So, I am getting more and more depressed and very dissociated. All this is making me want to cut, but I haven't. The DBT therapist said to call before I cut. I do not want to bother her or my other T. I know where this is going....I have pdoc tomorrow. I guess I could tell her, but it is going to happen soon. I have no restraint on this for some reason. It feels like the only thing I have any control over. terrics
Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2004, at 16:22:08
In reply to Two Ts/**trigger**, posted by terrics on April 28, 2004, at 15:56:45
Just so you know, DBT therapists are trained so that they encourage clients to call when they're in distress and before they self injure. They also are trained to ask a gazillion questions in what looks like aversive conditioning after a client self injures.
Go ahead and call your DBT therapist if she asked you to do so. She'll vastly prefer that to you self injuring and it will be far less of a bother.
I called my therapist today because I was feeling very strong urges and he had me come in as he happened to have free time. It helped a lot, and I don't think I'll SI after all.
Posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2004, at 20:48:28
In reply to Two Ts/**trigger**, posted by terrics on April 28, 2004, at 15:56:45
Terrics,
Going to lunch with your old therapist sounds awfully risky to me.
I know that you love her. But it sounds like your rational thinking is saying that your DBT therapist would be better for you. Can you make a choice on who will be your *therapist*?
If you choose your DBT therapist, then she can help you figure out what to do about your old therapist.
Your old therapist seems to be crossing lots of boundaries - free sessions, lunch. What is she trying to accomplish? Why is she doing this? She clearly isn't going to leave her husband and marry you. So how do you see this relationship developing? I guess I'm having a hard time seeing how it could be good for you.
What would your old therapist do if you told her that you have a new therapist and that even though you love her, you can't see her anymore? I don't know if *you* could do that, but what do you think *her* reaction would be?
It is excruciatingly hard to walk away from someone you love. But you need to take care of yourself and make decisions (even if they are hard) that are in your best interest.
I wish you luck in sorting this out.
Posted by DaisyM on April 28, 2004, at 23:52:21
In reply to Re: Two Ts/**trigger** » terrics, posted by fallsfall on April 28, 2004, at 20:48:28
terrics,
Please don't hurt yourself...if I remember correctly last time you felt the urge you went pretty deep. Are you prepared to take care of the wounds?
The bind you are in sounds awful. No wonder you are anxious! I think you should have your DBT Therapist help you sort it all out.
We are here for you. Let us help.
Posted by terrics on April 29, 2004, at 16:18:33
In reply to Re: Two Ts/**trigger**, posted by DaisyM on April 28, 2004, at 23:52:21
I went to pdoc today for meds. She said I look so much better and that each time she sees me I seem better. I go to her cause she is smart, not kind. I put my good smile on today. As I said, she is smart and she just figured out by herself that I was still seeing old T. while going to DBT T. She recommended DBT by the way. She told me to stop seeing old T. Aside from all that I am still living with my husband. I left him 6 yrs. ago and bought my own house. I have been here since I fell apart. I want to go home, but am soooo afraid of being alone. Last year was horrible. I was living alone then. No one thought I would get better, including me. I feel like I am sliding again. No one will see it til I crash, and it will be too late. Sorry I am being a big baby. I'm really worried. I couldn't stand another crash. I am so glad you are all here. I feel free to express myself. Everyone is caring. Thank goodness I found you all. terrics
Posted by terrics on April 29, 2004, at 16:21:09
In reply to Re: Two Ts/**trigger**, posted by DaisyM on April 28, 2004, at 23:52:21
Posted by Fallen4MyT on April 29, 2004, at 16:45:26
In reply to Re: Two Ts/ becoming more depressed » DaisyM, posted by terrics on April 29, 2004, at 16:18:33
Terrics I am worried on you I have been off a day or so my carpels tunnel is killing me from the puter...ANYHOW, Maybe this PDOC as you said she is smart is right and you ought not see the old T...As it does seem to upset you so :( Dont let all your goood progrgrss go to heck ya know? I would not see her on a professional manner....later..LATER if you want and need to see her socially after DBT then that door is there but I am concerned and dont want you to slip
HUGS GALORE TO YOU
Posted by Dinah on April 29, 2004, at 17:09:40
In reply to Re: Two Ts/ becoming more depressed » DaisyM, posted by terrics on April 29, 2004, at 16:18:33
Terrics, things are different now. It won't be the same. You have your new therapist. You have a support network in place. The only way that no one will know is if *you* don't tell them. Be honest with your new therapist, find a new pdoc if need be (although I have no deep emotional attachment to mine and don't really need one). Do what is best for *you* with regard to the old therapist.
It'll get better again. It really will. In the meantime you might want to call your pdoc and admit that you aren't doing as good as you might appear. A medication tweaking might be in order.
This is the end of the thread.
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