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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 44. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 10:22:54
I like to have a routine. I like things to be predictable. Sometimes things come up that threaten the routine. Sometimes they are bad things, sometimes they are good things (like Christmas). But even the good things break the routine.
Going back to school has certainly shaken up my routine - in a good way. And I feel like I have worked hard to make going to school be the new routine. But even that routine is treatened.
I just got back from visiting my daughter. She has finished her student teaching and did a presentation yesterday on her philosophy of teaching. She had the whole room eating out of her hand for 30 minutes. She was awesome. I was so proud. I love visiting with her. She is such a nice person, and we like to eat the same things and do the same things. It is very comfortable being with her. But at the same time I was screaming "This is not my routine! I want things to be normal!".
Next week my therapist is on vacation. The week after that I have another school trip. In April my son, who has been in Japan with the Army for the last 17 months will be home for a month's leave. Another school trip in late April, and then one in May (and the end of the semester). And Toronto in May. Plus a centenial family reunion in July. ALL good stuff (except my therapist going on vacation), but all disrupts the routine.
I feel like I am a little kid walking on a stone wall these days. My therapist walks beside me. He doesn't hold my hand, but when I lose my balance he catches me and helps me to regain my equillibrium. I see him 3/week, and these days I'm losing my balance at least once a week. So he's going on vacation for a week (sunny and warm with his wife - he gave me the phone number for his hotel). He deserves the time off, and it will let him recharge so he can keep taking care of me. But here I am on this stone wall, and he is leaving me there - just temporarily. But what happens if I lose my balance? He won't be there to catch me. He'll come back in a week to pick me up off the ground. I don't want to fall. So I have to be careful this week, and walk very slowly and carefully. Or maybe I'll sit down on the wall and wait for him. I haven't decided.
I told him all about Camp Comfort today. It must be starting to feel like spring at Camp Comfort.
Posted by fairywings on March 10, 2006, at 12:47:00
In reply to Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 10:22:54
Hi Falls,
Did you always need routine, or is this something more recent? I have a terrible time with anything added to my schedule, or anything that comes up unexpectedly, so I understand. As for suggestions, I wish I had some for you, but it does sound like you do a good job of recovering, even though being out of your routine is uncomfortable.
As for you T going on vacation, it is good for him, but completely understandable that you might feel kind of like you're dangling there while he's gone. It's good you have his # to hang onto just in case. BTW, I love all the imagery in your post. I can just see the little kid sitting by the wall waiting.
Sounds like you have wonderful kids.
fw
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 14:09:25
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort » fallsfall, posted by fairywings on March 10, 2006, at 12:47:00
Fairywings,
I think I have always liked routine. The more stress I have, the less flexible I am. I don't know where we are supposed to find the extra energy to handle all these surprises. I use all my energy for my normal life.
I like knowing where my therapist will be. And I know that if I did call him, that he would be OK with that. That is a comforting thought.
Thanks!
Posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 15:22:05
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort » fairywings, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 14:09:25
Falls -
I'll try my best to help catch you in any way I can. At least I can tell you what's for dinner ....
I love routine too. And I like to be in control of it. I know what you mean. I am a person with TONS of energy, but I don't like my plate to be too full. I like having my nothing time (to be on babble, listen to music, read a book). If a friend calls and says, "So you're home, let's go out for lunch," that could stress me out, it wasn't on my agenda, I didn't plan for it, etc.
I understand. Even if you miss a therapy appointment because of something fun you have planned for (visit with your daughter, Toronto), you still feel the loss. I feel that too. Will it ever go away?
It's so nice that your T gave you his hotel phone number --- very generous. He didn't see "What about Bob?"? : -)
You have been so helpful to me. I hope you will let me help you in any way I can.
If we lived just a few hours closer, we could go out for ice cream. We have the best homemade ice shop just down the street --- you wouldn't believe the portions or the taste ---- Mmmmmm. First, I'd take you to my new place I found for yoga. It's awesome. The room is so peaceful and the teachers are kind hearted. We'd have a great day.
Posted by madeline on March 10, 2006, at 16:41:01
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls, posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 15:22:05
I wish I lived closer to you! That does sound like a wonderful day!
Of course, I don't know where you live, so you might just be next door. But it still sounds like a lovely time.
Maddie
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 17:06:01
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls, posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 15:22:05
I'd love to come have ice cream and yoga with you! As long as I can use the Star Trek transporter to get there!
Thanks for your support.
Even with all this travelling, I think I only missed one session. He tries really hard with me to reschedule the one when I'm sitting on a bus or train, and phone sessions from my hotel (or my daughter's bedroom) work pretty well. We've sort of figured out the phone session technique. Certainly not as good as being there, but we do get real work done on the phone.
The very first vacation he took after I started working with him (2 months in?), he offered to schedule a phone session with me - in the middle of his vacation! I tried to warn him about the dangers of being a workaholic. But he said that he'd rather interrupt his vacation than come back to a mess. (We decided that I would be able to survive the two weeks, but he did give me his cell phone number - so I could call him while he was sailing on the ocean!) This is the first hard vacation I've had since then.
P.S. I had ice cream for lunch, was that OK?
Posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 17:11:16
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » annierose, posted by madeline on March 10, 2006, at 16:41:01
I live in Michigan.
Looking out the window today, one might think it's Spring.
Snow is on the forecast for next week. But there is one good thing about living here (well there are many) the weather-people are always wrong.
Posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 17:17:27
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » annierose, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 17:06:01
Did he offer to phone you? or did you ask?
I just do not think my T would ever do a phone session, although I have never asked. I rarely call her and when I do, I'm just leaving information, not asking for a call back. She does call when I ask (which has only been 1 - 2x per year), it's kind, but to the point, and ends, "We can talk about that on Monday."
Is it a "hard" vacation because it's two weeks (or was that the first vacation), or because of the timing of the vacation?
Gosh I just really wish there was a Star Trek transporter. Can you work on that?
Ice cream for lunch sounds perfect. When it's movie night with our kids, we (my husband and I) just have the popcorn for dinner.
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 18:18:51
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » fallsfall, posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 17:17:27
He didn't offer to call, and I didn't ask. It is enough to know that he is sincere that I could call him if I want to. Not that he expects me to need to... It is quite the tightrope to walk being open to being called without giving the patient the impression that you expect them to fall apart.
It is a hard vacation for a bunch of reasons. First, I'm overwhelmed with things not following my routine - and missing therapy because he's on vacation certainly doesn't follow my routine. Second, I have been pushing myself a lot - taking a lot of risks because I know that he is there to catch me. So I'm sort of "out there" these days. And I'm in the middle of a couple of things (a group project and a conversation with a prof on the topic for my final paper) that I'd rather not attempt on my own. He is helping me a lot to understand the dynamics of what is going on and to decide how to act. So the timing for that stinks. Third, because I'm so "out there" right now, I've been stumbling frequently (every weekish), so the chances of me stumbling next week are very good - unless I change what the risk level, which is kind of hard on the fly. I'm quite afraid of what will happen if I stumble and he isn't there to catch me. It is so much easier to keep from falling down the hole than it is to climb back out of the hole. Currently he keeps me from falling down. I'm afraid if I don't see him for a week that I'll be down the hole by the time he comes back. Fourth, the last couple of weeks have been very busy, and I could use his support to get back on an even keel. Starting his vacation with me not on an even keel doesn't seem like a good way to start...
I know I'm overthinking this. And it will all probably be fine, but I'm feeling very vulnerable today. The timing of his vacation just stinks, that's all.
Posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 19:41:35
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » annierose, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 18:18:51
I know it stinks. The timing is bad. I'm sorry.
I hope you don't fall down that hole too. You're right. It's easier to fall that to climb back up. So be careful, no tripping. We're here to help.
Regarding the phone ... I was referring to your phone sessions. Did he suggest that or did you ask?
p.s. I got so excited thinking about that ice cream place, I piled my family into the car and we went out for ice cream. My kids were happily shocked.
Posted by happyflower on March 10, 2006, at 19:47:31
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » annierose, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 18:18:51
(((((((falls))))) T's vacations are tough, but you will be okay! You have us!!!! Plus what kind of ice cream did ya buy? My local grocery had a sale and I stocked up! Want some?
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 21:03:11
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » fallsfall, posted by annierose on March 10, 2006, at 19:41:35
You have lucky kids. Ice cream and you for their mom.
He suggested the phone sessions. I was going to be missing a session taking my daughter on college visits. With a phone session I didn't have to miss the session. Financially advantageous for him. Now that I'm travelling a bit it means I don't have to miss my sessions.
Thanks for your support. I'm going to try not to fall down the hole.
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 21:04:42
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls, posted by happyflower on March 10, 2006, at 19:47:31
Thanks, Happyflower, I always like ice cream.
I have Edy's Mint Chocolate Chip right now. It's my favorite.
Posted by muffled on March 10, 2006, at 21:53:16
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » happyflower, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 21:04:42
Hey my T is away for 2wks too. She said she'd phone me 1x while she was gone. She's not much for phoning so I'm not holding my breath.
Sounds like you have a great T Falls.
My T is nice too.
I feel kinda lost.
Muffled
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 21:56:38
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls, posted by muffled on March 10, 2006, at 21:53:16
Let's go to Camp Comfort, Muffled!
Wanna swing on the swings? And we could roll down the hill, too. or blow bubbles? I want to play there.
What would you like to do?
Posted by muffled on March 10, 2006, at 22:05:21
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » muffled, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 21:56:38
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I wanna hang out with my T :-(
OK, snit over....
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm......................
Mebbe, make chocolate chip cookies , but eat all the dough before its even cooked!!!!!!!!!!!!
YA!!!
Posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 22:44:33
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » fallsfall, posted by muffled on March 10, 2006, at 22:05:21
Raw chocolate chip cookie dough. Good idea. I'll meet you in the kitchen!
Posted by Daisym on March 10, 2006, at 23:34:33
In reply to Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 10:22:54
I've read that it only takes 30 days to ingrain a new routine. In the meantime, we'll be as much of a safety net as possible.
Camp Comfort seems to be needed early this year. My therapist goes on vacation in a month. I guess we need to plan some activities, even spring cleaning can be fun when done with friends.
Funny thing is, the bay area has snow right now, not springlike at all. And we almost never get snow. It is a weird year.
I'm glad you've figured out phone sessions. They have been very important to me. See what adaptations you've already added to your routine.
I know it isn't the same, but I'll catch you if I can and kiss the bumps and bruises if I can't. Just know I'm here.
Hugs,
Daisy
Posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 11:56:10
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort -Falls » muffled, posted by fallsfall on March 10, 2006, at 22:44:33
can someone tell her its going to be ok? She doesn't beleive me much.
Posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 12:52:40
In reply to Hey, my inside Kid is scared....., posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 11:56:10
What is she scared of?
Posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 13:42:17
In reply to Re: Hey, my inside Kid is scared..... » muffled, posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 12:52:40
She scared of stuff inside, and she scared cuz her T is gone a long time, and she scared, well I'm scared thats the Kid will get upset and get me upset and I'll end up doing something stupid.
Muffled
Posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 14:09:03
In reply to Re: Hey, my inside Kid is scared..... » fallsfall, posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 13:42:17
Let her come play with me at Camp Comfort.
I picked up some rocks when I was walking my dogs, and I'm trying to build a stone wall with them. So I can sit on it to wait for my therapist to come back. But I have to figure out some kind of "cement" because I'm not very good at building a stone wall. Maybe I'll make some clay and use that.
What would make little muffy feel safe? Would she like a teddy bear? Or to hide in a blanket fort? Or maybe you could think of something that would be fun - sort of a distraction. Would she feel better if she could cross the days off on the calendar until your therapist comes back? You can tell her that you don't need to deal with the stuff inside until your therapist comes back. You can put that stuff away in a strong box until she comes back. You don't have to do hard therapy work while she's away - you sort of get a therapy vacation. (Like how I'm going to sit on the wall, and wait for my therapist. When he comes back, then I'll get up and start walking again.)
Let her eat some ice cream. That always makes me feel better.
Posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 14:11:16
In reply to Re: Routine, Balance, and Camp Comfort » fallsfall, posted by Daisym on March 10, 2006, at 23:34:33
HA! It is 10 degrees warmer here than it is there today!
But I don't WANT to change my routine (she whines)...
Thanks for being there in case I start teetering.
Posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 15:43:04
In reply to Re: Hey, my inside Kid is scared..... » muffled, posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 14:09:03
> Let her come play with me at Camp Comfort.
***Thanks
>
> I picked up some rocks when I was walking my dogs, and I'm trying to build a stone wall with them. So I can sit on it to wait for my therapist to come back. But I have to figure out some kind of "cement" because I'm not very good at building a stone wall. Maybe I'll make some clay and use that.***If there's a river or pond around and you dig down, quite often you can find clay.
>
> What would make little muffy feel safe? sort of a distraction.**Muffy is never safe, ever. But she can have fun. Can I help you with your wall? We can make it wide so you don't fall off.
> You can put that stuff away in a strong box until she comes back. You don't have to do hard therapy work while she's away - you sort of get a therapy vacation.
***Thats a good thought. In a box, a very strong box. When it tries to come out toughie will come and stuff it back in. Ha!!!
(Like how I'm going to sit on the wall, and wait for my therapist. When he comes back, then I'll get up and start walking again.)
****I can sit too. For awhile. But then I get bored and have to go and look for bugs cuz I love bugs. I can show them to you. Are you scared of bugs, cuz I won't show them to you if you are.
>
> Let her eat some ice cream. That always makes me feel better.***Cookie dough, I just ate cookie dough. Ugh....I feel kinda sick.....HA!!!!
Thanks Falls, you a good friend.
Muffly.
Posted by fallsfall on March 11, 2006, at 18:51:36
In reply to Re: Hey, my inside Kid is scared..... » fallsfall, posted by muffled on March 11, 2006, at 15:43:04
>But I have to figure out some kind of "cement" because I'm not very good at building a stone wall. Maybe I'll make some clay and use that.
>
> ***If there's a river or pond around and you dig down, quite often you can find clay.Ah, that's an idea. I was going to make play clay from flour and salt and oil and water.
> >
> Can I help you with your wall? We can make it wide so you don't fall off.Sure you can help! The wall represents my therapy journey. I'm trying to figure out how tall it is, whether it has dropoffs on both sides (or is it a wall holding up a hill?). I do know that it is hard to keep my balance. One thing I do with metaphors that I use is try to see how I can change things within the metaphor to figure out how that would change things in life. For instance, I'm afraid I'll fall off if I walk on the wall, so I can sit down and wait for my therapist to come back - this translates into not pushing myself while he is on vacation. You bring up an interesting change - is there someway that I can make the wall wider, so it is easier to walk on (even temporarily)? I'll have to think about that.
>
> > You can put that stuff away in a strong box until she comes back. You don't have to do hard therapy work while she's away - you sort of get a therapy vacation.
>
> ***Thats a good thought. In a box, a very strong box. When it tries to come out toughie will come and stuff it back in. Ha!!!
>
Put a strong lock on the box so it can't open up.
>
> ****I can sit too. For awhile. But then I get bored and have to go and look for bugs cuz I love bugs. I can show them to you. Are you scared of bugs, cuz I won't show them to you if you are.I like bugs a lot. My previous career was a software engineer - my specialty was fixing bugs, so I had all sorts of plastic bugs in my office. I think bugs are facinating.
> >
> > Let her eat some ice cream. That always makes me feel better.
>
> ***Cookie dough, I just ate cookie dough. Ugh....I feel kinda sick.....HA!!!!
>
>
Sugar is great, isn't it?> Thanks Falls, you a good friend.
> Muffly.I'm glad to have you with me at Camp Comfort. It is nice to have company.
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