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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 26. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
To those who care to read:
Sometimes I wonder whether many people read my posts. I'll be honest that I read certain poster's posts more carefully than others.
Daisym posted yesterday:
"This is how life works - no one keeps score and there are enough of us to support at different times, at different levels."I have to say that at this moment I disagree. I'm wondering whether psychobabble has become rather cliquey. I posted a few days ago in hope of support. Thankfully Dinah responded but she was alone in offering support. In fact when I post I've come to feel guilty because I worry that Dinah may feel compelled to respond so as to avoid the awkwardness of no-one responding.
What was and is a very painful time for me was if anything worsened by my efforts to reach out for support here and instead being steered clear of only to see a friendly thread emerge shortly after reassuring another poster that there are enough of us here to give support.
A similar thing happened to Deneb a while back, you may recall.
I think babble is special - perhaps at its essence is the fact that the posters are more intellectual, more critical and essentially more honest to others and about themselves compared to certain other e-communities. I will spare a parody of an un-named other community I have seen.
I guess I just feel a bit excluded or unworthy. I accept that that's something I feel in general (it's one of my complexes) but I can't but help recognise a cliquishness among certain circles of posters, without pointing fingers.
To steal from George Orwell - all babblers are equal but some are more equal than others. We are all worthy of support but it does appear that some are certainly more worthy than others.
I won't say I'm leaving babble as that's a little dramatic and I'm sure I'll come and read here again and maybe reply (not that it matters a whole lot what I say or do) - but my affection for babble is certainly declining. Back in 2007/2008 it was a great source of support but now it's not such a good place to count on people, unless you want to take advantage of the generosities of the small few.
Yes, this is an angry post. It's angry because I feel hurt by what I experience as a lack of caring/indifference from the most of you here.
Witti
Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 7:14:06
In reply to What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
Witti, I don't know how much you follow the goings on at Babble as a whole. But between one thing and another, Babble is dwindling away.
There just aren't many posters here anymore. Dr. Bob spends very little time here moderating. I am very sorry to say that Babble appears to be dying.
I'd be very sorry to see you leave as well. Lack of response is not at all personal to you or evidence of cliques. It's evidence of the fact that this board is not active. People don't hang out here as often, and don't post as often if they do hang out here. So that I suspect people would be more likely to respond if they knew the answer to a question, and less likely perhaps to post purely supportive responses?
It's all very very sad to me. Psychology Babble was a family to me, and I hate to see it die. But change happens whether we like it or not, I suppose. And I see no way to reverse this.
Dinah
Posted by Solstice on May 23, 2011, at 8:38:31
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Dying? » wittgensteinz, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 7:14:06
I think that the twitter & fb buttons at the bottom of most posts plays a significant role in the decline, along with Bob`s difficulty designing an administration system that is both protective of the environment and respectful of sensitive to the sensitivities of a board set up for the benefit of folks with mental health issues.Solstice
> Witti, I don't know how much you follow the goings on at Babble as a whole. But between one thing and another, Babble is dwindling away.
>
> There just aren't many posters here anymore. Dr. Bob spends very little time here moderating. I am very sorry to say that Babble appears to be dying.
>
> I'd be very sorry to see you leave as well. Lack of response is not at all personal to you or evidence of cliques. It's evidence of the fact that this board is not active. People don't hang out here as often, and don't post as often if they do hang out here. So that I suspect people would be more likely to respond if they knew the answer to a question, and less likely perhaps to post purely supportive responses?
>
> It's all very very sad to me. Psychology Babble was a family to me, and I hate to see it die. But change happens whether we like it or not, I suppose. And I see no way to reverse this.
>
> Dinah
Posted by pegasus on May 23, 2011, at 9:46:04
In reply to What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
hi witty,
Oh, wow, I'm so sorry you feel that way. Actually I just responded to your other thread, before I even read this one. In my case, the delay was because I can't usually post toward the end of the week or over the weekend, but I have more time at the beginning of the week.
And . . . I'll admit that I'm more motivated to respond to posts by the folks who always/usually respond to mine. I guess there is a bit of a feeling of responsibility to reciprocate there. And also I especially respond to people who talk about things that I can really relate to.
I'm sorry if you feel left out. Speaking for myself, I'm always glad to see your posts, and I'd hate to lose you from this community. I know that it does feel bad when no one responds. I think it happens to most of us now and then. I also feel rejected when it happens, and then I try to remind myself that it's probably not about me. It's hard to see it differently than a conversation, though, where it would be really rude and humiliating if we were to say something important and vulnerable, and then have no one respond.
- p
Posted by Willful on May 23, 2011, at 10:33:19
In reply to What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
I don't think it's cliquiness, but as Dinah says, that there's really no one here. I suppose there are lurkers, who don't respond, but for myself, my desire to contribute has been greatly diminished by many of the attacks and hurtfulness on the admin board during various disagreements about policy here.
I used to care about babble a lot, and I still care about the people here-- but not enough to put myself out there to respond only to be ignored, or feel that there's defensiveness of lack of appreciation for my trying to help-- especially if I don't say exactly what the poster wants to hear.
That's happened to me many times. Dinah is obviously very dedicated to babble, and willing to hold it together; and she 's able to say things in a very good way, which some of us may be more clumsy or brusque in saying.
And then many times you get involved with someone and really care about them and they disapppear forever, or years at a time. You for example (and I'm not blaming you at all-- we all participate to the degree that it is useful and meaningful to us--and most of us are I"m sure here and away from time to time) were here a lot for quite a while and then (from my point of view) disappeared without a word. So I"m hesitant to become involved only to lose touch with you completely and without any idea what's happened or why, I've done the same thing -- I really don't mean I don't blame anyone. I'm just saying what effect it has. When there were more people, this wasn't all so obvious-- there were always people to respond-- and time to get over an sense of disappointment or loss. But now it's just so depleted and fragmented here-- that each post seems a bit forlorn-- with a few exceptions.
I really don't think there are cliques. I just think that right now it takes a lot of effort and energy to get a response-- and a lot of sturdiness and resilience to put yourself out there to respond.
I really am sorry because I"m sure it feels bad for those who are looking for support-- and it's not like we couldn't try harder reach out to one another-- if there were more of a sense of community-- but that just seems to have leached away over the last year or year and a half.
Willful
Posted by tetrix on May 23, 2011, at 11:28:12
In reply to What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
Hi witty, I want to let you know ( any everyone else who posts) that I read your posts and share your pain and feelings and think about what you say.
I don't like posting or replying so much because of concerns of privacy.
It happened to me to feel that I wasn't get much support either ( when I was posting about my problems) but the few posters who did bother to read and gave me a little warmth, did make a small difference.Sometimes it feels good to just spill your anxieties and concerns in writing, not so much for others to read but for yourself.
Hope you are well
Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 11:45:46
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by Willful on May 23, 2011, at 10:33:19
I know what Willful means about being afraid of people's reactions to responses. I've been guilty of being less than gracious myself, and it's been bothering me. When I first was breaking up with my therapist (odd way to put it but true), I wasn't really open to responses suggesting that I see good in it. I've been worried that I discouraged people from responding. When really it was just something I couldn't deal with at the time. It didn't mean I didn't appreciate the caring, or even the sentiment, or that I didn't consider what was written down the road a bit.
I think that perhaps this happens sometimes, and it probably does discourage people from responding. It's hard not take it personally, and not to be discouraged from responding. At a time when Babble was more active, there were a lot of different experiences happening here, and isolated events didn't hurt as much as they might now.
With so few posts, the remaining ones - whether asking or giving support - are, in a way, riskier. Because they are more in the spotlight.
I suppose it's a possibility for the community to rally, but I really wonder if it's a viable possibility without a stream of newcomers to make up for the people who inevitably leave for one reason or another.
Posted by Phillipa on May 23, 2011, at 13:01:30
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 11:45:46
I agree with Dinah I feel she's on target with the dying and people leaving. I sensed it about two years ago. I't very sad as was a fun place to be and used to perk up my mood. I feel there are cliques. Just a statement and not posted for discussion just what I know from others privately. Enough said by me. Phillipa
Posted by ron1953 on May 23, 2011, at 16:21:02
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by Phillipa on May 23, 2011, at 13:01:30
In my not-so-humble OPINION, Babble has, over the years, been gradually hijacked, with Bob's help, by a relative few with their own personal vagenda, seeking some sort of mystical "safe" place where they can be coddled as they are by their therapists (read: rent-a-friend). Anything outside of this is generally rejected or ignored.
Posted by Deneb on May 23, 2011, at 17:02:04
In reply to What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
Hey wittgensteinz,
You're always welcomed in chat if you'd like to join us! :-)
Chat is pretty welcoming.
We usually chat in the evening.
Posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:16:34
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by ron1953 on May 23, 2011, at 16:21:02
Hi Ron,
It's funny you should say that. I'd actually felt that babble was one of the e-communities with less of that going on than certain other sites. Maybe some of that is inevitable.
Witti
Posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:21:30
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Dying? » wittgensteinz, posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 7:14:06
Yes, you're probably right. I don't spend much time on admin - I don't find it all too constructive. So many heated discussions and yet little change - people being blocked, nasty exchanges etc.
It is sad - I realise babble is declining. It was also maybe unwise of me to post what I did about my situation and to hope for much of a response. I just haven't felt this bad for a long while - hypersensitive, and a good helping of anger with no real outlet.
Witti
Posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:23:20
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Dying?, posted by Solstice on May 23, 2011, at 8:38:31
Yes, I have nothing much with twitter and facebook. It does feel potentially intrusive. It feels unnecessary.
Oh well, I guess it was good there were people around to help me when I was new to all this and more in the thick of it.
Witti
Posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:46:06
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by pegasus on May 23, 2011, at 9:46:04
Pegasus,
Thanks for your replies, for your kind words and your honesty.
I guess something about the dynamic here just got to me. I probably shouldn't have posted what I did.
Witti
Posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:57:40
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by Willful on May 23, 2011, at 10:33:19
I will post more replies tomorrow - it's very late here - time to try to sleep.
Thank you to those who posted though. I appreciate your thoughts.
Witti
Posted by Dinah on May 23, 2011, at 17:59:56
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Dying? » Dinah, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:21:30
I don't think it's unwise to hope. I think everyone should post with high hopes. And low expectations.
I wish it could be different.
Posted by sleepygirl2 on May 23, 2011, at 19:09:55
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Dying? » Dinah, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:21:30
I read your post (if I count- I usually think of myself as an outsider).
I just didn't know what to say.
Reminded me of the demonic nature of my mother.
How are things now?
Posted by annierose on May 23, 2011, at 20:14:46
In reply to What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 5:05:14
I, for one, always look forward to reading your posts. I have this wonderful image of you riding your bike on a country road to your t's house, opening the gate and walking towards his home office.
I know I don't reply if I don't feel I know what to say to help ... but I always read.
Posted by Deputy Racer on May 24, 2011, at 15:07:10
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by ron1953 on May 23, 2011, at 16:21:02
> In my not-so-humble OPINION, Babble has, over the years, been gradually hijacked, with Bob's help, by a relative few with their own personal vagenda, seeking some sort of mystical "safe" place where they can be coddled as they are by their therapists (read: rent-a-friend). Anything outside of this is generally rejected or ignored.
Please do not post anything which could lead others to feel accused or put down. Additionally, your comments are likely to be seen as offensive and sexist by many members of this community. You've been here long enough to understand the guidelines for posting here; therefore, I am blocking you for posting for six weeks. I will also ask Dr Bob to review this block, which he may choose to reduce or extend.
If you have any questions regarding the posting policies on this site, please read the FAQ, located at http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil Follow ups to this action should be directed to the Administration board and should themselves be civil.
Dr Bob has ultimate authority over all administrative issues on this site, and may choose at any time to revise or reverse any action taken by a deputy.
Deputy Racer
Posted by emmanuel98 on May 24, 2011, at 19:46:23
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by tetrix on May 23, 2011, at 11:28:12
I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but lately when I've been trying to follow babble posts, I open 9 out of 10 posts and get a messages saying internal server error. I have to keep trying post after post to find one that opens that I can respond to. So that's why I don't respond to many posts.
In fact, I asked a question the other day on the med board and haven't been able to open up any of the responses. Damn! And I really wanted to know the answer before I see my p-doc on Thursday.
Posted by Dinah on May 24, 2011, at 19:51:41
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by emmanuel98 on May 24, 2011, at 19:46:23
If you hit "refresh" a few times, it should eventually pop up.
I put it in the subject line in case you couldn't open this one.
Posted by Willful on May 25, 2011, at 9:22:28
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by emmanuel98 on May 24, 2011, at 19:46:23
Emmanuel, they work if you right click and tell it to open the link in a new tab. Try that when a post doesn't open the usual way.
Willful
Posted by 10derheart on May 25, 2011, at 9:52:13
In reply to Hit refresh, posted by Dinah on May 24, 2011, at 19:51:41
Posted by Phillipa on May 25, 2011, at 21:25:03
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by Willful on May 25, 2011, at 9:22:28
What does it mean though that it's not working as before? Not knowing computers well I have no idea what causes this to happen. Annoying. Phillipa
Posted by floatingbridge on June 2, 2011, at 10:40:56
In reply to Re: What is psychobabble? Supportive or cliquey?, posted by wittgensteinz on May 23, 2011, at 17:57:40
Witt,
If it's not to late to respond. I found myself at this board by accident. I meant to push meds. Your post title caught much eye because I have wondered that about the psych board.
Well, because, the first reason being, when I posted awhile back, DaisyM and
Phillipa were the only ones to post. I was in a bad place, off meds, slogging through an accidental year of homeschooling. I was unable to get out of bed.I felt at the time very isolated. How I felt was like the only depressed mom at the park while others (from my vantage) chatted and somehow functioned, even if they did complain of sleep deprivation and the other discomforts and challenges of parenthood.
Yes, this is my baggage. And some posters here will know how much I esteem them, esp because we have exchamged posts on Social or Meds.
I decided to stick with Meds or Social after that. Maybe the silence was because I really was hurting my son and
no one could really say so because it seemed such a mess. I never could be sure and was fearful.I know this post is subjective and
therefore full of holes--I don't want to present evidence of any real sort. I haven't spent regular time here, maybe because I haven't yet come to a real relationship with therapy. I haven't spent regular time here and thereby haven't naturally developed rapport. Maybe this board isn't a good fit for me. And to expect folks who are busy to respond because I drop in with a crisis is, well, an
expectation. And I know expectations are sometimes very unreasonable.Still, it stung. I might be one of the few posters with a young child. Certainly the
magnitude of my depression was
frightening at the time, and there is a
taboo of maternal depression.Sometime ago I did have some good exchanges regarding ptsd. Maybe those folks really are gone.
And if I dropped in more often...
You know some of you are very dear to me. I don't even know whom I would point a finger at.
So no finger pointing. Just my one experience that just about scared me off the pysch board for good. Because it still
haunts me.fb
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