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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by g_g_g_unit on July 4, 2013, at 8:30:27
sorry, are we allowed to rant here? I'm not typically one to do so -- I am always trying to seek out solutions to my problems (however unwieldy, impractical) -- but I just think I'm beyond my breaking point.
I have SO much on my plate -- crippling OCD, agoraphobia, social isolation, unemployment, i.e. a life that's utterly undignifying, miserable and worthless for the most part.And YET, what I wouldn't do for just a moment's peace and quite among it all. But from the moment I wake up, I am treated to either our two dogs or one of the other five surrounding our house barking sporadically throughout the day (not consistently enough to warrant a complaint, but enough to constantly set me on edge); or my family (including two younger brothers) CONSTANTLY bickering, yelling, screaming at one another from upstairs/downstairs, and I can hear every single noise, conversation, argument or whatever through my paper-thin walls. From 3pm, when they get home, to 11pm at night, there is not a single moment of peace or quiet -- any kind of quiet activity seems completely beyond them. I've tried headphones, ear plugs, noise generators, but nothing's a particular sturdy solution. My anxiety makes leaving the house nearly impossible and there's very little I can do anyway (no money, can't concentrate/read which rules out libraries, no friends anymore).
I've dealt with this for 3 years. No source of income, no prospect of leaving. The rage, the bitterness is so consuming. I can't even fathom how this is my life anymore, especially at age 27; it's hell on earth. I don't mean to be self-pitying or overly dramatic, but with all the failed med trials, complete and utter state of disability and hostile living environment, I really can't see myself surviving another year.
Posted by Dinah on July 4, 2013, at 17:55:22
In reply to can't take it anymore, posted by g_g_g_unit on July 4, 2013, at 8:30:27
Have you tried noise cancelling earphones? They have different types. The passive type works well for me. I used them on the plane and slept like a baby.
Posted by g_g_g_unit on July 5, 2013, at 0:40:22
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore » g_g_g_unit, posted by Dinah on July 4, 2013, at 17:55:22
I have, but it gets draining sitting listening to music for hours on end. Since I'm so sedentary and fatigued as it is, sometimes I'd just like to be able to sit in peace or do nothing.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2013, at 3:43:33
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore » Dinah, posted by g_g_g_unit on July 5, 2013, at 0:40:22
i have a lot of empathy for your situation. it drives me bonkers when the world won't shut up, too. and agitated noise (barky dogs and people arguing) is the worst kind of noise for me, anyway.
it sounds like you can't do much about the noise at home, so i guess all i've got is a few ideas about places that might be soothing to visit.
- art galleries
- museumsthey are usually free / entry by (minimal) donation. the people who frequent those spaces tend to be in a relaxed zone and so sometimes those kinds of places can feel soothing.
even libraries. you could take a sketch-pad or something and draw instead of read. knit. something like that.
i do hear you about the anxiety... but maybe discovering a soothing place would make it manageable / worthwhile. you might find that getting yourself into a soothing environment actually helps with your anxiety.
i hear that this is why some people like to swim. because the whole world shuts up when you are under the water. not sure if that is feasible for you. fishing. hiking? nature hikes. not sure if that is feasible either.
i certainly have empathy, though. a few people have talked to me about noise cancelling headphones... i never found any. not that worked to keep out sudden varied noises, anyway. constant background noise is different... (e.g., the hum of an engine, the buzz of machines)
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2013, at 8:06:31
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore » Dinah, posted by g_g_g_unit on July 5, 2013, at 0:40:22
I didn't always use them with sound. They work to some extent with no sound.
But then I'm getting older and my hearing may not be as keen as it used to be.
Posted by Dinah on July 5, 2013, at 8:42:14
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore, posted by Dinah on July 5, 2013, at 8:06:31
The passive ones don't use the counter-noise. The counter-noise really does work best on things like airplane noise.
http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/gadgets/audio-music/noise-canceling-headphone3.htm
It won't block all sound, but it will muffle it.
Posted by g_g_g_unit on July 5, 2013, at 12:40:10
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore, posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2013, at 3:43:33
thanks for your suggestions, alexandra_k.
I don't want to seem like a total curmudgeon but I guess I am my own worst enemy in this situation -- I did used to be more active in leaving the house, particularly before my agoraphobia set in, but these days I suppose I just end up thinking, "why bother?" I know if I fight the tremendous amount of anxiety I have to leave the house, at best I might get one or two hours of peace, but then I'll just have to return home and deal with it for the rest of the day anyway. It becomes a bad cycle because I know any respite is very fleeting, and never a permanent solution, and so I become less and less motivated, particularly when my prospects for leaving home altogether or gaining some independence seem so slim at this point.
I am seeing everything through the visor of depression and anxiety right now, though. Maybe if I can get my anxiety under control at some point, and do more while out of the house, it won't seem like such a huge issue anymore.
things are so peaceful after midnight though that I've thought about changing my sleep cycle. not sure how healthy that would be in the longrun though.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 5, 2013, at 19:40:52
In reply to Re: can't take it anymore » alexandra_k, posted by g_g_g_unit on July 5, 2013, at 12:40:10
the hardest thing about it is that it can become a vicious cycle.
i have sort of done the different sleep schedule thing. one that is partly overlapping. i stay awake until around 3 or 4am. i wake up around 11 or 12.
it is good for me when i'm productively using the time to work. when i'm using the time to play computer games or some other kinds of divergence... it isn't good for me.
so maybe it would depend on what you did with the quiet time that you had.
sometimes what we want is what is good for us, but sometimes, not so much.
i have a hard time waking up. if left to my own devices (especially when i'm playing computer games or other kinds of divergence) i end up sleeping 12 or 13 hour days and still feeling tired.
it feels to me like i need more sleep. like there isn't a point to getting up because when i'm up i'll be tired and cranky and unable to focus.
but the thing is that i'm not in the position to be making any decisions about that when my alarm goes off.
really... i function best on 7-8 hours sleep and NEEDING to get up to be someplace doing something. i resent it at the time - but really, i function my best in that setup.
with respect to your getting out...
what kind of person do you see yourself being? what ideal for yourself is it that you are working towards? are you an arty person - do you spend time in art galleries / museums? are you a creative person - do you spend time making or drawing?
i suspect that you don't want to be a person who sits round the house all day her whole body finely attuned to angry voices and anxious barking. put me in that environment and i'd know darned well how i'd end up feeling.
couple hours...
what do you have to do at home? sleep?
but baby steps.
at the end of your day you can look back on your day and say: what did i do with that day?
when you get out of the house you open up possibilities that good things happen. pleasant interactions with people, however fleeting.
if you stay home... things are predictable, yes?
This is the end of the thread.
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