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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by winsome on July 16, 2013, at 4:41:14
My psychiatrist of 12 years is closing his practice but offered to continue to see me using Skype and in-person sessions. I have many difficult feelings about this. Would I be helped by seeing another therapist (short term) to help me with these issues?
Has anyone done this? If so, were you satisfied with the results?I am struggling with this. Any help is appreciated.
Posted by Willful on July 16, 2013, at 11:27:11
In reply to second therapist for help with primary therapist, posted by winsome on July 16, 2013, at 4:41:14
Consultations with second therapists can be useful, I"ve heard, when difficulties arise between a patient and therapist. But it might be good to discuss it with your therapist a bit. If you feel that it would be helpful, you could call around to people he recommends-- or if you have another source of recommendations of course using that also-- and see whether someone feels comfortable in taking that role.
I suppose you could do it on your own, without your therapist's knowledge and involvement, if there's a serious disruption between you. But the issue seems to be less in the relationship than in the concrete conditions. So I hope you could do it with him/her.
By the way, although skype is not as good as in-person meeting-- perhaps you will find over time that it has certain virtues. Almost everything has pluses and minuses-- after you get used to it. I've had sessions with my therapist over the phone, without skype, when I"ve been away for periods of time, and those are very helpful. Of course, it would be hard on a long term basis-- but depending on the relationship, it might even be worth it to do that.
In fact, my T does that now-- since he doesn't like skype for some reason. He has several long term patients that have moved away, but still keep seeing him with the use of the telephone alone. You might be be surprised, if you did make that shift, that you can adapt and draw as much, or almost as much, from a different connection as the one you're used to.
Is it possible that some of your difficulty with skype comes from having trouble just accepting that your T is moving at all-- and not wanting to have to deal with the disruption or loss-- and having to work so hard to reconnect? I think I would have a lot of feelings about that-- and you say it's a difficult thing-- so maybe you haven't resolved all of the feelings of being abandoned or something like that? I can totally see feeling that your T is suddenly not reliable and wanting to go find someone else to rely on or to have some sort of back up-- in coping with what he's unilaterally done.
Disruptions are a very hard thing to have to cope with, but sometimes overcoming them can strengthen a relationship.
I hope it works out for you--
Willful
Posted by winsome on July 17, 2013, at 4:41:45
In reply to Re: second therapist for help with primary therapist, posted by Willful on July 16, 2013, at 11:27:11
Thanks for your insights. I do have unresolved feelings regarding my therapist. He is not moving away but closing his practice. It was announced via letter and will happen in about 2 months. He gave no hint this was in the works. He always said he wanted to do therapy forever and still feels that way. He is taking a more administrative job. He is doing this because of the new requirements by insurance companies to do massive paperwork on each patient. I is too much for him.
Having abandonment issues and difficulty with trust, I feel devastated. I feel, for him to so suddenly spring this on his many patients, that he is not the caring, involved person I believed him to be. He is the only psychiatrist within a wide geographical area who does therapy. There are few, if any, other choices. His patients are confused, unsure of what to do for their treatment. In the short time left, he cannot help each find another therapist.
I am lucky that he will see me at all. I am very glad he will. My problem is he seems not to be the person I have known for 12 years.I think I am grieving this loss. It comes in waves and I now am angry. I am afraid to mention any of this to him for fear he won't continue to see me. How can I be in therapy with this fear? I can be thrown out at anytime.
Unhappy
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2013, at 9:04:07
In reply to Re: second therapist for help with primary therapist, posted by winsome on July 17, 2013, at 4:41:45
I so understand what you're feeling!
Hang in there. Neither of you will feel the same for a while. He's dealing with grief and confusion too, I'm sure. And perhaps, like my therapist, he tends to become defensive in situations where he knows he's hurting people.
If you hold on through the confusion, he may become the therapist you once knew. Or he may not. You may feel about him the same way, or you may not.
One good thing is, that if he fails to become *your* therapist again, you'll have the time to come to terms with it and not really care what happens to your therapy.
Getting a therapist for therapy isn't an awful idea. Just be aware that you may not hear what you want to hear. I remember my interim therapist told me something along the lines that he might come back, and he might be like the therapist I knew, but I will always remember that he *can* do this and *did* do this.
I think it was a curse, rather than a premonition, because it was all too true. I never have felt quite the same about him. But I'm not altogether sure that's a bad thing.
I hate change as much as you do. But sometimes no matter how much we fight it, change happens.
:(
Posted by winsome on July 28, 2013, at 13:36:18
In reply to Re: second therapist for help with primary therapist » winsome, posted by Dinah on July 17, 2013, at 9:04:07
Dinah, Thank you for the very supportive advice. It helps so much to know you have been through a similar experience. I continue to see my therapist as his practice doesn't close for another 6 weeks. During the first session after his decision to close his practice, he was somewhat defensive. I had not seen this in him before. Then, he told me that the huge, new burden of insurance paperwork was causing him to be unhealthy. (little sleep, no time for exercise, etc.) He seemed sad and desperate. Wow, my anger toward him was joined by sincere compassion for him. It has allowed me to see him as human!
Before my last session, I felt like I was walking on egg shells in therapy with him. I am having grief feelings of abandonment, anger, fear, etc. but thought I should not mention them lest he decide not to continue seeing him. He was able to pull that out of me and said it had to be discussed for therapy to continue. I was amazed and reassured. I only confessed to me abandonment feelings (not the anger) but he mentioned he would expect me to have these abandonment issues but many other feelings, too. He seems to read my mind.
As I am the only patient with whom he is continuing therapy after the practice closes, I also feel guilty because I am so lucky. He told me that wasn't necessary and he was seeing me because of all the hard work I had done. He said to be happy! This is about the nicest thing to happen to me.
Thanks, again.
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