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Differing parenting strategies

Posted by Dinah on February 24, 2005, at 11:26:21

I get to be at wits end sometimes. My husband is a great hands on father. But he sees everything in terms of right and wrong, and he sees everything as a disciplinary problem.

I think he thinks that if he doesn't keep my son, and me, and his mother and grandmother, in line with his anger, the world will go to h*ll in a handbasket.

So if he gets a note from the teacher saying that my son had a crying outburst in school, he sees it as something he needs to be disciplined for. Not physically, neither of us believe in that.

And the wonderful man is great at showing the professionals exactly what I'm talking about, because he doesn't realize what he's doing or how it looks. So he is a wonderful validation for me. They never need to wonder if I'm exaggerating.

It just upsets me so, because I know how it makes me feel, and I came from a long history of good self esteem. How must it feel to a little boy who has never known anything else? No wonder the predominant theme from all of his teachers and everyone who knows him is that the poor child is intrapunitive. (Only one or two have actually used that term, but the others have said the same thing in different words.)

Talking to a professional and being told that his approach isn't working only works for a few days. Then it's back to normal.

For those of you with dogs, I always say he uses a Boxer correction on a Cocker Spaniel. :(

 

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poster:Dinah thread:462687
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