Posted by alexandra_k on September 1, 2005, at 18:01:14
In reply to Re: Teen traumas husband hassles » alexandra_k, posted by fairywings on September 1, 2005, at 6:53:38
> Yeah, I did talk to her about why I didn't want her to wear it before she left and then again when she got home.
Yeah. Sounds like she didn't really take your point before she left though...
Do you think she got it when she got home???
I mean...
Trust is one issue. And if she promises you something (like that she is going to change) and then she doesn't then thats not acceptable.
But another issue is the limits of what she can and cannot do.And clothes are tricky...
They are a really personal thing.
Especially for kids.
Especially for kids working out who they are.
Their identity.
The kinds of responses / reactions they get from others
The kinds of responses / reactions they want to get from othersIt may be...
That you are right.
If she goes out wearing that then all sorts of guys will oggle at her.
If you draw her attention to that then she might take notice and not feel so good about all sorts of guys oggling at her.
And so... She might not want to do that again.And then you don't have to worry about her breaking your trust over that issue again.
Or it may be...
That so very many kids her age wear things like that that she just blends into the crowd...Maybe you need to trust her a little too...
Especially about something so personal as clothes.
Maybe you guys can figure out a comprimise.
Otherwise...
I anticipate many years of changing once out of sight.
But then maybe I'm thinking of me
And there is no way in hell I'd let another person tell me what I can and can't wear.But I'm very strong willed.
And I don't have kids.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:548093
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/549744.html