Posted by happyflower on September 7, 2005, at 17:32:34
In reply to Re: Teen traumas husband hassles, posted by fairywings on September 1, 2005, at 19:22:27
Hi! I think you handled it well for her first offense. She is testing you. A lot of great kids will all of sudden do something out of the ordinary for them to see what they can get away with it especailly at that age. I would still keep an eye on her, even if you do trust her, keep in mind most parents don't really know what their kids are doing.
Some of my best friends in school had their parents so snowed. They were on the honor roll, good kids in all, but they partied like I have never seen even in college. Did they lie to their parents, of course! Did their parents know? NO! They thought since they were such good students and so honest with them that their kids would never do that kind of stuff.
I think if this happened to my daughter I would have been sticter on her punishment for disobeying me. I would of not let her go to the next home game, or something she would really miss. I would make her earn back the trust she was given freely. Maybe like reduce her curfew time for the next month. Make it really hurt so she will think before she lies again.
One thing I do see is that she sees she can get away with things with dad more easily. Kids are good at figureing it out. I am surprised that your DH didn't support you on your decision. Most fathers don't want people looking at their daughters in sexual ways. Wearing clothes that show off their assets isn't a good idea especailly being so young. Will she be able to handle the unwanted advances that she might get because of the way she is dressing? I know this isn't the way it should be, but a lot of boys and men see a young girl dressed in a provocative way, think she is "available" or loose. I don't like this, but is what a lot people think, but I can't help what others think.
She is at the exact age that my stepdaughter started to act out. She had her mom snowed too. Her mom thought since she was an A student, had a lot of friends, activiites, and haven't done anything wrong before, that she could always trust her. But in my view, she was trusted way too much. Because behind her parents back, she was drinking, having sex and everything. Did her mom know, no, she thought she was going places to study and thought she was a virgin. Well mom was very surprised at her bridal shower when all the friends were talking about the good old times. She didn't have a clue about her daughter. It is okay to trust your daugher but keep in mind she might not always be so innocent. She is already starting to play you and your DH against each other. She is lying about saying she was going to change and then lying again saying she was going to buy a t-shirt. Please see this as warning to you. This is how is gets started, little by little.I am not saying that your daughter will do the same thing, but just keep in mind, kids are good at deceiving, especailly the really smart ones. Good luck, I am not looking forward to when my daughter hits that age. :)
poster:happyflower
thread:548093
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/551982.html