Posted by Pfinstegg on October 10, 2005, at 14:50:04
In reply to Re: Breakingthe cycle of abuseWhat do you do diffe » happyflower, posted by greyskyeyes on October 6, 2005, at 13:40:44
I just have to add here that my son just got married to a wonderful girl, and got his PhD in physics all in one amazing week! My husband and I started trying to learn more loving, constructive ways of raising him as soon as he was born, because we both suffered severe frequent beatings (and me csa) as children. The oither, more subtle thing was that neither of us were ever spoken to with respect -words were just not used as a way of helping us learn how to behave well, solve our problems, or maintain self-confidence and well-being. We both read a lot, attended classes about parenting, and watched how teachers we especially admired interacted with our son. It was all so new to us, but learning it made US much happier and more confident. We knew we were "breaking the cycle", and raising a happy child. He looked so joyful on his wedding day, and actually thanked us in front of everyone for the love and support we had given him. He also told us, privately, that he and his new wife wanted to spend a lot of time with us- to keep our relationship strong. I was in tears a lot of the time- but also felt so tremendously glad and proud. If we did it, anyone can!
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:563421
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/child/20050817/msgs/565264.html