Posted by Augustina on April 1, 2005, at 10:57:01
In reply to Wavering motivation, posted by Racer on March 31, 2005, at 15:08:06
Racer,
About 1 month ago I came into my therapy session all pumped up, telling my T that I finally, without a doubt, 100% want to “get rid” of this ED once and for all! I just felt so imprisoned by it, by my rules, the obsessions, the all-consuming nature of this beast that literally makes me physically exhausted at the end of the day. I was on the road to recovery once and for all! (so I thought).
Since then however, I’m back to my restrictive habits again, listening to that inner voice telling me how much better I’ll look and feel if I lose “just a little more” weight, what a “better” person I’ll be if I’m thinner, etc, etc…So now, I'm restricting again, big time.
My T tells me this is normal. It is normal for recovery to be a rollercoaster ride of wanting to get better and resisting it. I’m aware of this ride and it sounds like you are too. Give yourself permission to slip up, to not be “perfect” in recovery. The fact that you are with a T that you seem to trust is a great thing right now and with her guidance you will hopefully gain more insight into your motivations and reasons behind them.
-A.
poster:Augustina
thread:478215
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/478490.html