Posted by Racer on June 25, 2005, at 1:33:26
In reply to I hate myself, posted by jesica on June 24, 2005, at 17:40:42
> I hate my self!!!!!!
> Until i was 7 years old I was such a skinny kid. As the years passed I got bigger and bigger and bigger. This has become a real problem. I describe myself as a bit over weight, not too much but very well proportioned, so it's not that bad....but still I HATE IT!!! And what makes it worst is that my mother and brothers are always reminding me of how much weight I have to loose. My brothers are just idiots, and my mother only says it for my own good.****
BULL-oney. Your mother may say that she's saying this for your own good, but believe me -- it's not doing you any good. All it does is teach you that you're not good enough as you are, and that's a lousy message to give anyone, especially a child.I don't know how old you are, but unless you're over 18 -- or your doctor has brought up your weight as a health issue -- any extra weight is just as likely to be caused by your body saving up for a growth spurt. Trust me -- I grew my last two inches kinda late in my teens. In fact, I spent my whole childhood in this accordian growth pattern: first I'd sprout up a few inches, then I'd only grow bigger and bigger around -- until suddenly I'd shoot up a couple more inches and get skinny again.
Here's a much better suggestion: go see your doctor, tell her/him that your weight is bothering you so much that you've been taking laxatives and trying to make yourself vomit to control it. Ask for some help in learning about how much you should be eating, what sorts of foods, how much it is healthy for you to weigh -- you'll probably be surprised by all of the answers, if you're anything like me. I'm eating more than I think I've ever eaten in my life, and yet I'm only at half rations according to my nutritional counselor. Ask your doctor about referring you to a counselor who can help you with your body image issues.
There's also a book called "The Body Image Workbook" that you might want to look into.
> But I still can't help slamming the door shut and crying for days.
***
Of course you do, dear. So would I, so would nearly every young woman on the planet, so would nearly every woman of any age on the planet. That's just plain a lousy thing to bring up with anyone.> I have tried every single diet out there...Dr Bernstein, weight watchers, Atkins, slim fast, body science and even been to a nutritionist. I do admit the at first I loose the weight but then once I go off it I gain it all back and more. I've taken laxatives and even tried to make myself vomit and I just can't. I've tried everything that can make me get groused out and still can't vomit. I was on the i-net and found out that I can take something called Epicac (I think) and that is suppose to make me vomit but with my luck they don't sell it here in Canada.
***
Give away your laxatives and don't even think about Ipicac (dunno how it's spelled, but know what it is) -- they will very literally kill you. That is, using them to try to control your weight will make you dead. You will die. You will not die in a pretty way, you will be very, very sick first.Get some help, rather than working on those things.
> I am so tiered of feeling like such a cow. I have a boyfriend who is wonderful and loves me very much but I keep thinking that one day he will find a skinny girl and leave me. Because of this I have a really low self esteem.
> What can I do...Please HELP.
>Here's a really intriguing thought for you: maybe, just maybe, your boyfriend actually cares about *you* -- and not just about what your body looks like. Ever think of that one? It is a possibility, and you should keep it in mind.
Here's a story for you, to illustrate my point: When I first met my husband, I was entirely unimpressed by his looks. I knew that he knew I was not impressed by his looks -- I thought he was kinda funny looking, if you want the truth. BUT I still liked him a very, very great deal, because he had the most attractive personality I had come across, and because we shared so many interests in common. And guess what? We got married! Amazing, huh? A man who is not going to be mistaken for a movie star got married to a beautiful woman! Shocking, huh? He was unemployed when we married, so it couldn't have been for his money, either. Get my point?
There's another book I'll recommend to you, although I haven't finished it myself yet. It's called "Appetites: Why Women Want" and I'm reading it right now. Already, I know that the story addresses many of my issues. It's already helping. And it helps that it's very intelligently written, and that it's not cutesy, nor is it filled with the baloney about things like "oral impregnation" -- {shudder} I think some doctors still believe that [expletive deleted] -- so I feel safe recommending it.
You want help? We're here. I know most of us can recognize the feelings involved -- I know I can! I wasn't ever a truly big child, but I sure was told by my mother that it was important never to eat too much, never to be fat, gotta watch out, because you might get fat, all that stuff. What was the result? The result was being over 40 before getting treatment for anorexia. The result was probably killing off any chance of having a child. The result was wasting years and years of my life starving myself to try to be thin. The result is that I'm SHORTER than I was at 15, due to bone loss from anorexia.
What part of that do you aspire to? Would you rather be in pain, childless, shorter, stupid from starvation? Or maybe you'd rather get help in accepting your body now, so that you can do something more productive with your life?
I'm too tired tonight to make any more sense. I have several suggestions for you, ranging from joining a gym so that you can go get naked in the locker room and see that your body is not all that different from the other women there -- and that none of them look perfect in the buff -- to getting an afternoon volunteer position at an animal shelter or reading to the elderly or something like that. It really is good for you, even if you don't believe that.
What do you think so far? Besides that I'm full of [expletive deleted] and that you'll handle making yourself thin better than I have? What can I do to help you?
poster:Racer
thread:518252
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20050314/msgs/518516.html