Posted by TexasChic on May 25, 2006, at 21:02:43
I feel like a I weigh 500 pounds. Its more around 200-250 (I haven't weighed in a long time and have been eating alot of fast food lately. I am a size 16/18. When anorexic I got down to an 8 (pre-SSRI). I would be happy with a size 14, and estatic about a size 12. I remember how fat I thought I was at that size. Now what I wounldn't give...
I actually found myself thinking tonight about trying a coke diet (I know where I could get some). That's not really my thing, what with the anxiety and all. Really pot is the extent of my illegal drug consumption for many, many years. I'm not smoking now because I'm trying to find a new job (plus, the munchies). But I know coke goes out of your system quickly. This isn't a plan or anything, just what's going through my mind, which is kind of shocking to me.
Would it be entirely out of line on this board for me to ask for recommendations for a appetite suppressant (Rx or OTC)? I'm just so distraught with my weight right now. I feel like this is it, I will never be any smaller again, only bigger. When I walk into the bathroom at work all I see is how wide my hips are, and I think, what guy would ever be interested in THIS??? I'm way more upset inside than I ever let on, even to myself. Yesterday a guy looked me up and down (cuteboy for those who are familiar) and all I could think was, "He's thinking of how fat I am."
I keep thinking, once you get past that 3 day mark of fasting, you begin to experience that high. I don't know if its physical or mental (being in control). But I remember it. I know starving yourself is unhealthy, but so is overeating! So why not choose the one that makes you look better?
Just looking for support.
-T
poster:TexasChic
thread:648616
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20051009/msgs/648616.html