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Re: My relationship with food. Messed up. » Llurpsie_Noodle

Posted by philyra on February 10, 2007, at 9:33:07

In reply to Re: My relationship with food. Messed up. » Poet, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on January 28, 2007, at 14:19:36

Hi Llurpsie_Noodle,

I have a lot of shame around food that I'm trying to work with these days. I can't stand to eat around people - I was eating a bag of cheezits (a treat! because I was stressed!) and thought I was eating them alone, but a bunch of my classmates walked in and I just felt this awful wave of shame and urge to put them away. It was horrible - I hate feeling that way. I made myself keep eating them. Then I saw another classmate had a bag, too (we must have hit the same vending machine), so I didn't feel so bad. I'm generally OK if everyone else is eating, too. But I'm also a slow eater so if everyone else finishes I start worrying, do they think I'm eating more food? Are they wondering about how much I'm eating, watching me eat etc?

But I'm starting to notice more about how I eat - like you, sort of distracted, in front of TV, etc. A therapist told me a few years ago to try eating at the table without TV, without reading. It's really hard for me to do that and I'm not yet sure why. It feels 'safer' to be doing something else. Maybe because I struggle with restricting and am anxious about eating, period?

But, I love food and I try to eat healthy food. Keeping stocked with fresh fruit & veggies, nuts, healthy frozen food (my new obsession is frozen unsweetened pineapple chunks), etc. Having a variety at home is key, I think, to eating healthy food and resisting the temptation to get junk food.

take care,
philyra


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