Posted by shar on July 9, 2002, at 0:11:01
In reply to Re: Holding rage in a cage » judy1, posted by terra miller on July 8, 2002, at 23:10:07
Yes, it has taken years for me to be able to say I am angry (to even recognize it as a feeling). I have a great therapist, who has walked that path with me.
I have found that if I deal with what I am angry with in the here and now (like I was angry at my T a while back) it isn't so scary. If I go back to a time when I was a powerless child being abused, and let out anger about that, it is very intense, and it is a lot harder because of so many OTHER things that accompany it: guilt, fear, loss, mistrust, death...etc.
I only deal with my older anger when I feel safe (in a therapy session usually). I am getting better in the here and now, saying 'I don't like it when you do x' or 'I want you to do x' etc. And, I do it differently with different people; with my T I can be extremely direct and tell her in plain English, with my sister it is different and I express it differently, same with when I'm at work.
It is not really an emotion or phenomenon that is dealt with on its own, I believe. There are so many associated feelings, emotions, experiences that it is a complex process when we are dealing with our loss of innocence through abuse.
Good luck on your journey to express what you can.
Shar
poster:shar
thread:547
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020702/msgs/553.html