Posted by ShelliR on March 26, 2003, at 18:11:53
In reply to Re: Who runs this life? Me or therapist?, posted by Tabitha on March 19, 2003, at 12:23:43
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> Uuuurgh. I don't know if this is normal stuff, rocky patch, etc, or time to leave her. It gets tough when so many sessions are spent fighting her, and therapy seems to add upset to my life rather than resolve it. Or is fighting her part of my growth? Uuuurgh.
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I think that disagreeing with your therapist is healthy, as long as it's based on what you really feel. Diagreeing only takes time if you need to convince her (or yourself) that you are right. If you're committed to the path you've chosen, then you should be spending your time working on things you need help with.I would worry about you leaving her. It shouldn't be all or nothing; maybe your goal should be to be able to get by with a 50 minute session (when you're ready). That way if you still need support, you might be forced to find it among friends, etc. and grow in the process. Also, as you grow more independent, small changes in time (like 1/2 hours should start to bother you less).
(speaking of which, my last therapist gave me an ultimum if I wanted to continue to work with her. I felt that what she wanted me to do was really wrong for me. So for the first time in many many years I am without a therapist. It was good for me to know that when push came to shove, I followed my own instincts and conscience. I'm still not sure whether I will go back into therapy, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised when you decide to terminate therapy, that you probably are a lot stronger and more independent than you thought.)
btw, I'm not suggesting you end therapy. YMMV; also I wish that I could have worked it out with my last therapist. I worked with her for four years and she helped me a lot. I've left therapists before (usually go right on to the next one) and I've always realized (after the fact) that I take with me the stuff I've learned from them.
Best wishes,
Shelli
poster:ShelliR
thread:210618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/213208.html