Posted by stebby on August 31, 2003, at 21:28:28
In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? » stebby, posted by Adia on August 31, 2003, at 13:08:21
Adia, Your message was so heart felt, it brought tears to my eyes. To have had such a difficult childhood and then have someone who is completely there for you like she is is heart-warming. I'm glad you can trust her like you do and I desperately want to trust my T like that, and I think I do. One of the problems is that my first T did in effect "abandon" me. She had to terminate and then when I saw her on the street she ignored me. I thought she had a special place in her heart for me. It was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. Since then, I cannot seem to get past this idea, that the therapist is just doing her job by being caring, but its not real. I have talked to my T about this, and she was reassuring, but of course she is, that is her job. I am going to talk to her again about it on Tuesday. It keeps coming up. She has never done anything to break my trust, but I think its going to take time given my first experience with transference and therapy. I am really afraid to let myself feel that close again and keep trying to convince myself that she's really a fake, so as not to get hurt again.
I really appreciate your supportive words and the effort you put into your note to me. It means a lot.
poster:stebby
thread:251041
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/256007.html