Posted by Karen_kay on December 5, 2003, at 18:31:51
In reply to Flunking Therapy, posted by mair on December 5, 2003, at 14:24:09
I'm the exact same way with my therapist, truly! We mostly chit chat when I am in his office, or I mostly chit chat. If he brings something up that I don't want to discuss, I either ignore it, or shoot him a comment like "How are your perfect kids and your perfect life?" I'm pretty mean to him. But, near the end of the session, I begin to feel bad for wasting his time and I open up a bit more. This is the routine for me.
Also, when I'm depressed, he doesn't know it. I take great care to hide it from him. Then, when I make it through, I thank him for helping me through. I feel like the only time we do accomplish anything is when I blurt something out. But, I'm never sure what to let slip anymore.
And I try really hard to be perfect. And I told him. And he told me, "Don't you think that I can see that you aren't perfect? I can see past the act you put on." And it really started to sink in just the other night. And it kinda hurt. And now I'm starting to have nightmares again. But, I suppose it's a good thing. Because I'm going to be forced to talk to him about it.
The thing is, you can't be too worried about what your therapist is going to think of you. She is going to know the real you. And she is going to help you. But, she can't help you until she knows what is going on. Chances are, she's going to like you too! And even if she doesn't she'll pretend like she does :) (which I get that feeling a whole lot with my therapist!!)...
To help you not be so blocked.....
With me it was a control issue. It helped when I was in control of therapy, as in he never asked me any questions. It may help to figure out why you are so blocked. Let your therapist know that you are holding back and ask her to push a little harder. That helps too, if you are ready. Just know, this is common, I think, for everyone (I hope anyway :)
Karen
poster:Karen_kay
thread:286868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20031202/msgs/286934.html