Posted by Waterlily on January 18, 2004, at 19:46:47
In reply to Due to the mature nature of this post..., posted by All Done on January 15, 2004, at 14:16:09
> I’m generally not so bold – especially with groups of people that are new to me, so here it goes. I’ve noticed a lot of posts that include comments by the poster that he or she has an aversion to . I’ve told my therapist that I basically never want and that I’m hoping to improve my life with my husband. So, I have two questions for you all:
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> 1. Have you discussed your ual aversions with your therapist?Well, I don't have aversions per se, but I have discussed my lack of desire with my therapist. I chose a female therapist because this has been an issue for quite some time with my husband and I knew I'd be more comfortable discussing it with a woman.
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> 2. Do you believe therapy can change the way you feel about ?Hmmm...I do not believe that therapy can make you want more se* than is normal for you. If, however, you have specific issues about se* that are dysfunctional, then perhaps therapy could help there.
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> I have my doubts that therapy can help, so I ask myself why I discuss it at all with him. To me, it would be like me telling him that I don’t like chocolate (Ha! Just an example, of course). How in the world would he be able to help me change that? If I don’t like it, I don’t like it. Know what I mean?
>I have had times when I've totally been into the experience and enjoyed it immensly, but most of the time I'd rather be doing something more interesting. I'm sure this is medication related because depending on which med I'm on, I'll be more or less responsive. The best one yet has been Effexor, but I had to choose between getting any sleep (it gave me insomnia BAD) and enjoying se*, the sleep won. I'm back to being bored in bed, but well rested. If I wasn't married this wouldn't be an issue, but I am so I have to deal with it.
Regarding therapy helping with the desire issue, although it did not help me want it more, it did remove the guilt I had from not wanting it. In that respect it has been worth the time discussing it in therapy.
Good luck with this. If you have success with it, let me know.
poster:Waterlily
thread:301258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040116/msgs/302449.html