Posted by All Done on January 28, 2004, at 12:35:32
>I am just curious as to how you and others deal with your transference if you have a spouse or SO you have to contend with. I found it very hard.
Miss Honey,
I hope you don’t mind that I used part of your post to crushedout to start a new thread…
I know what you’re saying about it being hard. I’m just now starting to feel a little confused about how to handle my husband and his feelings and questions about my therapy sessions. When I first started seeing Beefcake, I guess I was in a bit of a crisis and my husband knew everything that was going on and why I was going. As the months have gone on, therapy has turned into a much different thing for me. A good thing, I believe, but now I’ve shared many more “secrets” with Beefcake and we’ve talked about things I would never dream of talking to my husband about. This makes me feel so guilty (a feeling that’s all too familiar for me). I imagine I’ll have to start spending a little more of my session time on this.
Just last week, though, I talked to Beefcake about my journaling. I was feeling very nervous that my husband would find my book and misunderstand what I’d written – especially about my transference feelings toward Beefcake. I know I could explain everything, but it would be difficult because I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t know what transference is as he’s never even taken a high school psychology course. Beefcake told me that often times a spouse might become jealous over the other spouse’s therapy sessions, but we didn’t really get into what to do about it, since I wasn’t feeling that my husband was jealous. I was just presenting a “what if” scenario. Until the “what if” became somewhat of a reality, I think, the next day. My husband actually asked me if Beefcake (of course, he doesn’t know about *this* name – if he did, he probably wouldn’t be asking the question) is attractive. I gave him the truth with a smile. I said, “not as attractive as you”. I hoped that this answer would assure him as well as get him to ask any other questions or tell me about any concerns he may have, but he just laughed and didn’t say anything else. Maybe someday, he’ll bring it up again. I don’t think I will because I don’t want to attach an “importance” that it doesn’t deserve. I don’t want to worry him. Then again, sometimes I think my husband is way more understanding and secure with himself than I give him credit for.
I think I need to come up with a "name" for my husband. I don't know if it should start with a B or something else. Any suggestions?
poster:All Done
thread:306461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/306461.html