Posted by pegasus on January 28, 2004, at 19:08:14
In reply to Transference and SOs - Miss Honeychurch, posted by All Done on January 28, 2004, at 12:35:32
This is a tricky one, isn't it! I used to worry about it, and feel guilty when talking to my husband about my therapist (although never vice versa - go figure). But lately I've decided to just not worry about that. We're going to be attached to our husbands (I hope!), and we're going to be attached to our therapists in whatever ways our individual psyches lead us to. Really, to expect anything else is a little unreasonable.
That said, I do try to keep my husband up to date with what's going on in my therapy. I find that he's glad to know (at least a bit), and then I don't feel like I'm cheating on him by having those intimacies with my therapist be secret. It seems to not have occurred to DH to be jealous. Of course, he's younger, taller, more fit, funnier, and has a lot more hair than my (ex) therapist. And I haven't shared the sexual fantasy side of my attachment.
My new therapist is a woman, so I think the point has become moot. Although, I hear that transference can cross sexual orientation boundaries, so we'll see.
-p
poster:pegasus
thread:306461
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040123/msgs/306624.html