Posted by crushedout on February 4, 2004, at 13:28:36
In reply to {{{{Crushed}}}} » crushedout, posted by Rigby on February 4, 2004, at 13:03:40
thank you rigby. that was so helpful. it also made me cry my butt off, but i guess that must be because it rang true.
> Hey Crushed,
>
> I've been there in terms of hugely devastating crushes. I guess they call 'em crushes for a good reason, huh? The thing is the longer they go on for, the more they wear you down. It's not pretty.
>
> Crushes go deep and wide and usually emanate from huge feelings of loneliness, emptiness and longing. I think from my experience, crushes emanate from not having some really basic needs met. The bigger the crush, probably the deeper and further back the echo of those needs--most likely childhood would be my guess. In this case you finally feel like your therapist is giving you what you need--most likely what you've needed in a huge way, for a long, long time. This at once feels incredible (at last!) but since you can't have her it's devastating. And only leaves you knowing that, well, you've got huge needs.
>
> I know. This doesn't help your here-and-now hurting. These are only words and explanations are intellectual. The healing comes from a sinking-in, from an emotional realization about these things. Healing doesn't happen in a day. Or even in a year. Your crush will fade. But it won't probably relent until where its emanating from is hashed out.
>
> Because you are being so truthful and because you are not running away from the wrenching emotions this is all bringing up from you I really, really, believe that you're going to get better--soon. Please try and keep the faith.
>
> I'm thinking of you and feel for you. You've got a ton of courage--and, as mentioned, this *will* get better.
>
> Rigby
>
>
>
> > I knew the good feelings couldn't last forever. Now I want to die. Why can't she be my lover? This is so wrong.
>
>
poster:crushedout
thread:309129
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040131/msgs/309356.html