Posted by pegasus on March 4, 2004, at 9:51:53
In reply to how my t is dealing with my si (caution may trig?), posted by crushedout on March 3, 2004, at 20:13:29
Crushed, I'm going to be brutally honest here.
I think your T has done some things that I'm very concerned about. When you wrote about the first time you cut yourself and told her, you said she was very angry. Which seemed to me to be inappropriate. At the time, I thought that she was probably angry because you were hurting yourself in response to how she was handling your therapy, and she knew it. So, that's a pretty clear sign to a therapist that they're doing something wrong. They're not supposed to do things that make their clients develop new self destructive habits. And, they're supposed to be able to handle anything that comes up. I mean, that's kind of their job. If she's having really emotional reactions to you right in your sessions, then it seems like she doesn't have a good handle on her own stuff and it's leaking into your work.
But now, the chart thing, that sounded reasonable to me. Or, at least, it seems like a reasonable thing to have someone with an established SI habit do. I've done it before at the request of my T, and I think the point was supposed to be that I would get a better sense of when/why I hurt myself. But it didn't seem that you really had any trouble understanding your reasons, so I'm not sure what the point of the chart was supposed to be for you. I also don't think she should have "demanded" to see it. It seems like that type of sharing should always be up to you. Otherwise, I would think that therapy could become a not very safe-feeling place.
Crushed, I have to say, also, that I feel a little guilty about you having developed this habit. I'm concerned that you read about some of us here hurting ourselves, and that that gave you the idea. I hope this doesn't become a serious habit for you now. As a coping mechanism, it's pretty extreme, and I wish I'd learned a better one way back when I started. :(
- p
poster:pegasus
thread:319906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/320095.html