Posted by lonelygirl on April 24, 2004, at 11:26:51
In reply to This one I'm going to have to think about., posted by Dinah on April 24, 2004, at 3:35:17
Dinah,
I have some of the same issues that you do... I never wear makeup, and actually I feel extremely self-conscious on the rare occasion that I do (e.g., for a job interview) -- I'm embarrassed to think that anyone might notice I am wearing makeup. I think the self-consciousness is a mix of several things, including that people might wonder what I'm trying to hide, that it might look like I'm "trying too hard" (and of course failing miserably) to look good, and that I might have done it the wrong way (I don't have much practice applying makeup, nor much knowledge of what is/isn't fashionable). I think another reason is that I attended an all-girls school for most of my life, and nobody wore makeup to school -- in fact, I specifically remember people being teased for wearing makeup ("Who are you trying to impress?"). I also wear a very plain hairstyle (straight, shoulder-length, side part, bangs) and rarely use any styling product.
Just out of curiosity, do you ever wear perfume? I feel the same about that as about makeup; although I always try to make sure I'm clean, and use deodorant, and sometimes use scented lotions, I feel self-conscious about specifically applying a fragrance. Oh yeah, I don’t wear jewelry either (though I used to wear plain hoop earrings, and I still would but for the fact that my ears get extremely irritated even by earrings for sensitive skin).
Regarding clothing, my wish is to blend in, or perhaps fade into the background. Since I am overweight, I cannot wear the trendy styles. I frequently see/hear people ridicule overweight girls (including those much less overweight than I) who try to wear more “trendy” clothes (e.g., shirts that expose their midriffs, shorts, short skirts, tight tank tops, etc. -- and even those who dare to wear swimsuits in public), and talk about how disgusting they are. So I usually wear very plain, somewhat loose clothes, mostly in gray, navy blue, and black, that cover as much skin as possible (I won’t wear shorts, even when it’s 110 degrees outside, and I haven’t gone swimming in years). I don’t own high heels; I usually wear either sneakers or Doc Martins. I usually dress to be comfortable -- I guess my feeling is, if I’m not going to look good anyway, I might as well be comfortable.
It’s nice that you can talk about this with your therapist. These kinds of issues are very uncomfortable for me to discuss, even with my psychologist, whom, as you know, I adore. The problem for me, and I’m not sure if this is how you feel or not, is that if I did try to wear makeup and perfume, style my hair, wear more fashionable clothing and shoes and jewelry, I suppose I might actually “fit in” better, and be more acceptable to others, yet I can’t stand to try because I would feel so embarrassed and self-conscious that I probably wouldn’t be able to leave my room.
poster:lonelygirl
thread:339292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040419/msgs/339514.html