Posted by Racer on June 30, 2004, at 16:18:27
In reply to Is my therapist right for me?, posted by littlep24 on June 30, 2004, at 13:16:58
Could you use this issue to explore with your therapist ways you can work issues like this out with other people? It sounds to me as if you might be reacting to your therapist in a similar way to the way you react to your husband: He tells you you need fixing, so you start to think that you need to be fixed / your therapist tells you that he's treating you badly and you start to believe that he's treating you badly. Does that make sense? I could be totally offbase, but there does seem to be a common theme, and you might be able to answer your question by how well you and your therapist can work through the question of whether or not she's placing too much of the responsibility for the marital issues on your husband? If you can find that middle ground together -- where she is able to help you see either how much either you or your husband is contributing to conflicts; or maybe how you can change your reactions to his actions to improve the situation without demonizing him -- then she probably is the right therapist for you for right now (I believe that sometimes the "right therapist" at one time might not be the right therapist for another time, you know? I suppose I could try to go back to my old Good Therapist again, she's only 50 miles away, but I just don't think she's the Right Therapist for me Right Now, you know? Just because this one might not be the right one for now doesn't mean that she wouldn't be the right therapist for you in a different situation is what I'm trying to say). On the other hand, if she insists that your husband is responsible for everything, that you are simply an innocent victim, when you *don't* think that's accurate, then you also have an answer.
Also, I know from very recent experience that, in the worst of my depression, I would look at my husband and wonder how I could have made such a HUGE mistake! Marriage counseling helped -- although it took a while for the head-butting stage to get past, you know? -- and being somewhat less depressed helped, and now I see the man I not only DID marry, but also WANTED to marry. He's my [marital nickname deleted] and I'm glad we made it through together.
Best luck to you. That's such a hard decision to make, but I think you'll make the right one for yourself.
poster:Racer
thread:362021
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040624/msgs/362071.html