Posted by Rigby on November 27, 2004, at 11:56:25
In reply to moving beyond transference, posted by LG04 on November 27, 2004, at 11:14:53
Hi LG04,
I was in pretty heavy transference with my therapist and, after somewhere around a year and a half or so it went away. It was very uncomfortable being in that state of transference. I suppose it's different for different people but for me it felt like being in love but with there being no place for its expression--very, very frustrating. And I suppose it also had its angry sides. And let's throw in a dash of obsession to the mix too.
It built until the point where I was having very, very intense dreams that I wrote down and sent to my therapist. After a series of these and her analysis of them in her office something just "clicked" and it felt like the transference lifted. I think a few things became clear--not intellectually but emotionally. It was a huge breakthrough for me.
I did not directly talk to my therapist much about the feelings--it was too uncomfortable. I found it easier to send her the dreams. We did speak a few times directly about it and she said my feelings were about transference since I didn't know her. She didn't make a huge fuss of it one way or another. And she was right--looking back (without those feelings now) I can see that what I was feeling was about my stuff. She I think has had feelings for me but I see that as *her* (counter)transference.
I guess in one form or another I'd say the best way to get out of the state is to communicate with the person about it. I was too shy so I did it through reporting my dreams in writing. I also had an enormously difficult, first love kind of thing that haunted me for decades. I finally went back and forth with this person (in email) and I love her dearly now--hugely--but not in that "tranference" way. It came from just talking it through with the person. Luckily she was wonderful and did this with/for me.
Hope this helps!!!
> Has anyone ever had an intense transference relationship with someone (therapist, or someone else) and eventually it ended? (not the relationship but the transference).
>
> If so, I'd be interested to hear about it. And if so, was it something that just sort of eventually happened naturally or did you do something(s) specific to work it thru?
>
> LG04
poster:Rigby
thread:420906
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041123/msgs/420921.html