Posted by alexandra_k on January 1, 2005, at 15:13:43
In reply to Re: Forever therapy - Spoke to my therapist, posted by Dinah on January 1, 2005, at 9:23:22
> Yet faced with the obvious disapproval of others, the reminders from my family and bosses that my therapist is getting a good income stream from me, and the near-global societal expectation that you're supposed to get better and learn to meet your needs in the real world, it is really hard to keep shame out of the equation.
I guess that for me it is not so much about you're 'supposed to get better and learn to meet your needs in the real world', it is more that you are supposed to try. Not because you owe it to anyone else, but because that is a better situation for you to be in as a person.
If you want therapy forever, well then I don't suppose I have too much of a problem with that (hey, if it was an option for me I'd be there). It is more that when someone wants a relationship forever with a PARTICULAR t that the alarm bells start going off in my head. The 'good income stream' only impacts on the situation IF the t continues to see you while they know that either (a) you would be better off with a different specialist, or (b) you would be better off without therapy (or at least that you could cope pretty well indeed). I never wanted to say that ALL therapists are like that, or that YOUR therapist is like that - just that it is conceivable that SOME could be and so that is something to be careful about. They are only human, you know. But if they get too attached to us then it is possible that our needs go out the window sometimes in favour of their own (even if they don't appreciate the situation for what it is). That is one of the reasons why I think supervision is so important.
> Daisy, no one in my life except my husband and Babble knows the frequency with which I go to therapy (and my migraine doctor now I suppose). I don't talk about it with anyone because of the shame I feel. And I try never ever to admit how long I've been going.I don't think you should feel ashamed. Just appreciate that you are lucky. You are lucky that you even have the option. Just like how I don't feel ashamed for eating just because there are people in the world who are starving. Don't feel ashamed going to therapy. Make the most of it.
> Does anyone have any ideas about how it's even possible to meet therapy needs in the outside world, given that therapy isn't a friendship or lover or anything like that relationship? Therapy is therapy. Do people who haven't had a therapeutic relationship know how different it is from friendship or anything else in the real world?
But what needs is that relationship meeting? Someone who is there for you emotionally? Someone who you can tell very personal stuff too? I am not saying that there may be ONE single person in the world who could meet all those needs all of the time. But in a social support network one individual could meet one particular one on one occasion, and another could meet another on a different one etc etc. Maybe I am still missing something here. I don't know.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:436168
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/436383.html