Posted by pinkeye on June 3, 2005, at 0:07:38
In reply to Re: Btw, I got some closure I needed from my new T, posted by Susan47 on June 2, 2005, at 23:10:55
I think your situation and my situation have been very very different. I cannot ever blame my ex T. Now I realize he might have missed out on some parts of me, but still I don't blame him. He really did his best and I couldn't have asked for more from him.
My situation has been completely and totally different. I did email therapy - and it was a very very wrong choice. He tried to let me go several times in the last 2 and a half years.. he asked me several several times to go and visit someone in the US since he couldn't help me much sitting 20000 miles apart. I didn't go to anyone. And instead kept depending on him. Email was really the culprit.. How much can he write? And how much could I write? It was not enough. And words don't convey the meaning and emotions clearly at all. Not in such a limited amount of writing.
Plus his style, his teaching in my country are really radically different from the US style. In my country they don't even talk about childhood - not even a little, and they don't really focus on feelings and understanding and changing that etc. It is all about controlling your behaviour and maybe to an extent thinking and controlling your actions. That was what he was taught. The extent he helped me was way above any psychiatrist from my country could have done. I have read articles and Q & A s by many other Indian psychiatrists - they are mostly completely worthless and don't have too much of a clue of anything. Mine was one of the best in in my country. I don't blame him for not knowing this regressive therapy which he is not taught in his college, which he doesn't practice - which nobody practices in my country. His continuing to support me through emails was way beyond my expectations.. I couldn't have gotten it from anyone else in my country. So you have to take all these into account before asking something out of a person.
I would have probably judged him little differently if he had been trained in the US and had been practicing in the US and if I were going and doing face to face therapy with him. The emphasis in my country is totally totally different.
There were several several reasons why I ended up feeling bad and inadequate - and I don't think my ex T had any part to play in any of it. It is my way of thinking that has been the main cause. And I make a mess out of every relationship with men - not just him because of my problmes with my father. Nothing is ever enough for me - no matter how good the other person is. And it is the same thing that I replayed again with my ex T. Even though he was very good, I got hurt - just as I do with everyone else.
poster:pinkeye
thread:506485
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/507204.html